Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Even in the USA Tuesdays suck

So today was a big day in terms of admin. I need to get a social security number. This number is the thing that flicks the first domino in order to actually do stuff. Once I get it I get, pay tax (ooh fun), the documentation together to buy/rent a car, get credit so when setting up utilities (such as phone and internet) they know who I am. First thing is first I need to go into the federal building for an interview. Now this interview is more like a trip to the post office rather than say a job interview. From my last trip in the rain to the federal building I knew for a fact that the building opens at 8am and the SS office opens at 9am.





8:30 I am there! Much like the airport I go through security… through the star in their eyes gate to be greeted with a wand that beeps around my crotch. It beeps every time I go through one of those things. Even now I’m not sure it is my belt that sets it off or my, ahem. “Can I wait outside the office?” “No sir, it opens at 9 sharp but you can use the cafeteria on the 4th floor for now” says the armed guard. Good enough for me. I went the café for, ooh 30 seconds, and went upstairs to wait in front of the doors. Im not being last for this! 8.50am A menacing man in a wooly hat walks slowly up to me and say “morning sir, it sure is a fine day aint it, yes sir a fine day”. I look around to make sure it is actually me he is talking to. I humor him (deep down knowing he may be on day release). 8:55am hall way is getting full now, as I am the first in an ever growing line of American stereotypes. The grunter has now joined me, making a noise I can only describe as “hocking” then a gulp swallowing noise (mmm nice). We have the “mom & pop” who drove 200 miles this morning to get her through all types of traffic, and the parking is awful don’t you know. (er yes I do know as I have heard you tell everyone in the line… individually… twice). I’m still first and watching the time tick away. “yes sir, sure is a nice day” says the wooly hat man again. 8.56… tick tick… 8.57... “grunt grunt” 8.58… “trayfic is owful” (come on come) 8.59… bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

What! The next thing I know a pear shaped security guard appears at a fire exit saying “You folks please go down these steps as we need to evacuate the building”. “OH COME ON! 1 MINUTE TO GO, I’M FIRST IN LINE, AND YOU ARE EVACUATING THE PLACE”. Granted this was my internal dialogue but I could see equal disappointment in everyone else’s face in the line. “Showe is a nice day foe en evecuashown” says the wooly hat man as hall stairs get busier and busier. We are then to wait across the street until the fire department get there. They never show. Standing in the cold opposite the building I go for a little wonder… basically to get away from grunter. 20 minutes later the security guard who had the wand from earlier starts waving us over. I’m first everyone… yeah right! Each man for himself!

I get to the front, this could be ok, I’m actually first back in the building… YYEEESSSS.. er no. “Do you have a federal pass sir” says wander guard (as I’m now calling him). Um no? “Are federal employee?” guess not. “then sir you need to wait over there in that line with all the civilians” er ok, mr security guard with a gun and a wand sir.

So I go to the back of the line and guess who is in from of me.. grunt! 30 minutes ago I was first in the line, now I’m just a civilian at the back of a long q. I finally get back to the corridor where I once was first, but now there are 30 people in front of me. :0( “Showe is a crayzee day today sir”. Look who’s just joined me.

Once I got in there it was a piece of cake. They now have my details and the card should be mailed to me in the next few days. I can even get my number tomorrow if I want to go back in. I don’t even have to wait as I can cut in line. Well who can resist that!

Needless to say I was a little late for work, but I let them know I may be a little late yesterday so I didn’t get in trouble or anything.

I have always wanted to do a website for a movie. I kind of always looked at movie websites as the kind of website you can really dive into and immerse yourself in the movie, rather than say and SEO website that shows NLP, life couching and empowering ones mindset to understand the importance of.. blahdy blah blah blah… zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Well now I am working on a website to promote a movie! Yay! It’s not out yet, it’s not a big movie and no it’s not porn. I can’t say much about it, but I am loving working on it!
After work, Daniel has given me a lift home again. What a star!


I am determine to make sure that I eat right while I am here and I have to tell you, it is quite easy to see how people fall into the fast food trap. It is cheaper to eat out than eat in. I’m looking at my cupboards and work out that I can make nice spaghetti with cheese sauce. I just need crème fresh or corn flour. Doing my daredevil antics I cross the 12 lanes of traffic to get to clay terrace shopping village. Now this isn’t as bad as you may think as this road is pretty empty at night. I walk and walk until it see it like a beam of golden light. I heard angels singing in the background, ahh ahh laa laa. The work Marsh glows and attracts me like a moth. Ok maybe I am over doing it a little bit but I had been walking for ages. All that stands between me and the store is, a car park, a fence, a little swamp, 7 lanes of traffic, a central reservation, another 7 lanes and a TGI Friday. Not to worry, I see a bridge! Phew. I make my way to the bridge and I see a foot path (wow). I keep on walking thinking “this path goes on for ages” well not quite. The problem is that is wasn’t perspective I was seeing but rather the path was getting thinner and thinner. I soon realized that path has how turned to a sandy dirt and is gently pushing me into a busy road of oncoming traffic. Sod this! I’m going back. I look down to see my footprints and it was like I was looking at the moon landing footprints. Literally no one has stood in this spot for years.

Here we are again. Gladiators ready! 3, 2, 1, RUN! Car park, fence, little swamp, 7 lanes of traffic, central reservation, another 7 lanes and SAFE! Ah. I really need a car. I got the bits I needed from the shop and needless to say I think I earned my dinner!



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