spooky coincidence?

It’s Saturday and it’s time to go shopping. As you know there is a quick way to go to the shops and there is a safe way to go to the shops. With family in tow I thought it to be better to go the safe way. Unfortunately this does mean walking an additional 35 minutes. That is bearable, but doing it with two (“my feet hurt & are we there yet”) kids is quite another matter. We eventually get to Wal-Mart and decide to put the kids in the trolley to, you know, give the kids feet a rest. With the plan to get a taxi back we buy some of life’s comforts, including a hairdryer and a DVD player. Before we know it we have a full shopping cart (or trolley as we know em) full of stuff. With rumbling tummies we decide to go to subway to get something to eat and call a cab. Should I really wheel this trolley from one shopping complex to another? Well it is a full trolley and the kids are tired so I figure, what the hell, let’s do it. I must admit that I did think about growing stubble and had a yearning for a can of special brew. We finally get across the busy road to where subway is and I empty the trolley. I should have taken it back really but I wanted to keep up appearances……… so I pushed it in a pond (just kidding! It was a lake)

We chill out and have something to eat and think about getting home. Problem 1, what is the number of the taxi company? Problem 2, where are we… er … outside of subway… er near the Wal-Mart and McDonalds (that really narrows it down). With trusty iPod touch in hand, I go looking for a wifi signal I can jump on to. I get the yellow pages on screen ready to give the taxi company a call. There are four results that are returned: Pet Taxi (I just figured it was a small company or an expat Gordie with a cab company). Nope it turns out that it is a company the transports pets…Great! Number two on the list “please leave a message after to tone” WTF! For a taxi company are you kidding me! Number three, ring ring beeeeeeeeeeeeeee… Great! Come on number four. “you have reached to offices of fox technology… please leave a message…” oh bugger!

Right! Who’s up for a little wander home then? I crack on with repacking the bags to get them into a position where I didn’t crush anything.

“Excuse me Sir” came a voice. “huh?” I said. “Have you been let down by a taxi firm or are you waiting to be picked up by someone? My husband and I were just having coffee and it looked like you need some help”. The Lady went on to say she owned a business there and her husband valued houses for a living. Now I wouldn’t usually get into cars with strangers but she and her husband didn’t seem to be the type to abduct us. (Apart from than I recon Sarah could have taken them out if it all went wrong, and I could of held her coat). Door to door service! Result! Like I keep saying these are very generous people who can’t do enough to help you. I expressed my extreme gratitude and said if there was anything I could do for them please let me know.

Earlier in the day I left a message with a man called Dave that deals in cars. He is a friend of Dan’s from the church. He rang back and said he had a friend of the church that sells cars and he is still open. Do you fancy going around there and seeing what he has and maybe go for a test drive? Yep! Sounds good to me! Twenty five minutes later I was out the door on my way to see a car, driven by another person I only just met. This is starting to become a regular theme. After a nice chat about the differences between the USA and UK we arrived at the car dealership. We are on quite a tight budget, (but face it, who isn’t) and I told him how much I had to spend. At one end of the car park there was your top of the line SUV’s and at the other there were complete wrecks. There were 2 that fitted my price range. One was, let’s say, basic. Electric nothing, small engine and made in 2004. The second one was bigger, quite luxurious, but built in 2000 with a few more miles on the clock. I took it for a spin but it really didn’t accelerate quite how I wanted it to. It turns out I had the brake on. Hey! Don’t judge me OK. There is a fold down seat in the middle between the two front seats where you would expect to see a brake handle. On this car there is a pedal on the floor for. It was next to the other brake pedal. So just in case you didn’t get that, the pedals are: [Brake][Brake][Accelerate]. The worst thing is the brake is where the clutch would be on a stick shift (manual) gear box. Some see this as daunting. I see it as keeping other road users on their toes :0)

I will think about over the weekend and let you know I decide.

Once I got back it was trick or treat time. This is definitely big deal here, just not so much in the community we are currently living. In total we got treats from 6 out 20 doors knocked. I get to impression that if you were to go to a neighborhood with houses rather than apartments to would be quite a different experience. My favorite highlight of the evening was when Katie knocked a door and a voice came back with a very basey “yeah what!”. Katie then looked at me with big eyes to say “should we go or stay”. Just then the door opened with the bright light shining in her face. She looked up to the ceiling and this huge black bloke (let’s call him high-tower) who pretty much filled the doorway and looked down on my little daughter. “Trick or treat” said in the faintest voice I have ever heard. “Oh sweetie, I don’t have any candy… but yo luk so sweeet, I’m so sorry I don’t have anything”. “That’s OK, thank you anyway” says Katie. I look back as we leave to see this tree of a man say “awe…”

Oh bless him

Touch Down

A very exciting day today! It has been building up to today. My Darling wife and children arrive today, and I can’t wait! I had a little look around and it is cheaper to hire a car and pick them up from the airport than it is to book a taxi with the capacity to carry the amount of baggage I’m expecting them to have with them.

Earlier in the week I booked a small SUV (Sports Utility Vehicle) for an early pick up today. I got there this morning and they said they didn’t have one for me (bad times) but they can upgrade me to a large one (good times). This thing is HUGE! I have never driven a Dodge before let alone one that requires a parachute to break the fall from stepping out of the door. It had all mod-cons which included satellite radio. I was listening to Chris Moyles on Radio 1 at the correct time, but the other side of the planet… It was great! Great until I had to an emergency stop. It’s not what you think… I didn’t crash but for some reason the interior light came on when I applied the brakes. Whatever I do I can’t get this light off. I tried switching off the engine and starting it again to no avail. Not the best thing to do at a traffic light in the morning rush hour when you are in the middle lane of five lanes of traffic.

At lunchtime I thought I would go for a cruise around the city, but then though, I may as well try the BMV again to see if I could do my written driving test. I glanced at the booklet last night and it doesn’t cost anything to try. As was filling out the form the woman next to me got called. “sorry hun, try again tomorrow… you got 14 questions wrong” the lady behind the desk said. This isn’t good I thought. I finish filling in the test and a guy got just in front of me before I handed my paper in. We both waited for the papers to be graded. Tick tock…”Mr Smith” she yelled across the room to the guy who was just in front of me, “you’ll have to come in again tomorrow. You got 18 of the 50 wrong”. At this stage I am wishing I studied more. “Mr German” came the yell… “you passed, you got 1 wrong” Thanks very much luv! Result! This must be the first written test I have ever passed! I got one wrong but she couldn’t tell me which one when I asked. I’m guessing it was the ‘what does the red light mean’ question. I always get that wrong.

Soon it gets to the end of the day and I head for the airport. Yes, it’s that time. The moment I have been waiting for since four weeks ago when I first arrived. Yep, being reunited to my darling wife and kids. Right then big truck and sat-nav, let’s go! “take the next right in 500ft” comes the automated voice. OK, I’ll follow your all knowing directions. 20 minutes to go, I’ll be there in plenty of time… “you have reached you destination?”. Er, no I am in the middle of nowhere! Where is the blood y airport? It had taken me to the old airport. You know, the old one… made of straw! I’m really starting not to trust this thing. I had a funny feeling when it get to the location specified and then states it like it’s asking you a question “destination on the right?” I ended using ‘verbal communication’ and as a man I am likely to struggle with that. Luckily I seemed to manage it and get in the airport 5 minutes after to flight was due to land. The flight was late by 30 minutes so it really didn’t matter in the end.

Sarah flight must have been pack out. There was loads of people getting off, but as I waited, (wanting to belt the guy who was getting in the way of me looking down the corridor where they come out) I see three exhausted figures appear. Oh here it comes, here are the hugs and kisses. Ah, bliss! I soon became aware that the 8 then 6 hours of flying had taken it’s toll on fatigue and , ahem, on Zacks pants. “He had an accident on the plane and now he is going commando” said Sarah. Fair enough… “daddy, I have had another accident” came a little voice. OK people we have a code brown here. Zack! Don’t run, or at least tuck you trousers into your socks. Yep, after 4 weeks off I was back into action as Dad you get clean up any s**tuation.

Once here was all cleaned up we were ready to load the car. It’s a good job I did get that upgrade. Even with all the seats down the car was packed out! The kids had to sit cross legged on the back with cases in front of them too.
There are all in bed now, safe and sound. The gentle snore from Katie, the “ur” from Sarah in her comatosed state passed out on the bed and the complete silence from Zack… in fact I better check her is still breathing. …. …….. yep he is fine I just poked him and he moved.

It’s good to have them back, even though my first job was to clean out the clothes and the apartment looks like a bomb has hit it. I don’t care though. I had the sound of children laughing in here earlier. That wipes out the ticking clock, humming refrigerator and buzzing light. (bloody light, in fact I’m gonna take that b**tard out right now). That’s better.

Right off to fill the car up again ready for retuning it tomorrow morning.

Singing in the rain

I need eggs, milk and apples form the shop to make sure we are all stock up ready for the big arrival. I wondered up the entrance to the community and thought to myself “what do you do hot shot? Go to Wal-Mart which is fairly close but ultimately you need to cross 60 lanes of traffic, or go to down the street a bit where there is far smaller chance of getting wiped out...what do you do?” (Shoot the hostage). I decided to take the safe option and off I went. One hour and ten minutes it took to walk to the store. Granted there were paths the whole way but I was knackered, wet and tired. All that walking in the rain takes its toll. I so need a car! I had arrived at the store and I worked out that it must have been 2.4 miles to get there. Next to the store there was a stop called Walgreens. This is like a 24hour Boots chemist, which also develops photos. I had got some photo frames earlier in the week and happened to have the memory card from my camera in my pocket. With these the apartment is starting to look like a home.

The city is no place for kids

Today has been a very busy day at work. Lots of meetings and lots of stuff that needs doing. Always a nice problem to have! I did however manage to sneak out for a little wonder around to get some bits and piece ready for the imminent arrival of Sarah and the Kids. I am trying to make the place as welcoming as possible and although I don’t have all the furniture I needs I do now have mattresses for the kids bunk bed. I’m not quite sure how they will decide who is on top, but I’m sure they will work it out.

I thought it would be nice to get a toy each for the kids when they get here so they at least have something to play with. I’m not entirely sure how many toys they are bringing with them but I don’t think it is likely to be a lot. Giving Google maps another chance, after to almighty balls up from Sunday, I typed in toy shop Indianapolis. It showed three results within walking distance. One was closed, one was out of business and the third didn’t exist. I think I might convert to Bing at this rate! Now I came to think of it, I don’t recall seeing any kids in the center in Indianapolis. “Lolly popth! Come and get your lollypopth, children”

Heal, Toe, Heal … not so much.

You know those times where you were expecting one thing but in reality is something quite different? I had one of those kinds of days today.

Ok, so it’s Sunday, I’m not at work, I have transportation and I have a sat-nav to get me where I need to go. Today is the day I make a house a home. With my friend Google Maps in hand I planned a list of 12 furniture stores. I managed to get them all lined up, so I could plan a route where I could quite easily drive from one to another so I am not Zig-Zagging across the city to find these furniture shops. I started at the one furthest away and thought I work my way in so I could get to this barn dance at 5pm (fashionably late) just after the shops close. Half a tank of petrol in the tank and directions to where I am going… let’s go! So I drive off and a bloke in a pick-up truck shouts, “get on the other side of the road!” to which I shout back “I don’t think they are listening to you!” Once I was on my way I was cruising (literally using the cruise control). I find it great driving here. It seems a much more laid back way of driving. In the UK there always seems to be someone in your mirror, ranting at you telling to get on. ..but enough of my reflection in the bathroom. A white van man on your tail, trying to push you out of the way is a common occurrence in the UK. Here the roads are straight, the automatic cars are keeping an eye on your speed and the GPS tells you were to go. Well, what is there left for me to do except sit back, enjoy the autumn scenery and watch the pedestrians bounce off my bonnet.



So after an hour’s drive I finally find the first store. It looked very promising, but ultimately it was closed. Come back on Monday, yeah right, I have no car then so, no chance. On I went to the next port of call. Now I don’t need to give precise directions here, but if I said it was the other side of the tracks you will know what I am talking about. I found myself in the hood. Bars on windows, supped up cars parked in the road with loud gangster music playing whilst partly disassembled cars with long grass growing around them in the front gardens. The gardens that didn’t have bits of car in them had old refrigerators. I went past the furniture shop with a notice in the partly smashed window saying “gone out of business”. Needless to say I didn’t the sat-nav to tell me to get the hell out of there!

The next stop didn’t exist and the one after that was closed. At this point I am getting a little p*#@ed off, as I am very aware that this is the last chance I will be able to get out of walking distance to see ways of furnishing the apartment ready for Sarah and the kid’s arrival later this week. I so desperately wanted it to be a nice home from home experience for them, but his is looking less and less likely. I carry on my merry way to two more addresses that turn out to be residential addresses. Houses that was VERY nice indeed. Image your stereotype of small town America in autumn, with its white picket fence and very polite people raking up their leaves saying good afternoon to just about anything that look at them. This was a total flip side to where I was not 30 minutes ago. Nice as it was, it wasn’t the furniture place I was looking for. Time is really marching on now and I soon realize I am going to be a bit more just fashionably late for this barn dance thing.

On to my final destination! A store, a store that is open… a store with very nice furniture in it, a store that is open with nice furniture and way out of my price range. “Good afternoon sir. Welcome to our store. This is a family run store where we only import the very finest of pieces, or commission hand crafted furniture directly to you, our valued customer. My name is Bob how you are doing today sir”. I think to myself “Er, thanks bob can I get in the door first, would that be OK?” We walk around the store with my considerate “strokey beard” face on, making sounds like, hmmm, “ooh I do like what you have done here”… hmm, the whole time thinking “The minute this guy leaves me alone I’m gonna leg it… but he didn’t! Come on man, time is running out I am looking hand crafted crap that I have no intention of buying. I am ashamed to say I did the “oh, my phone is vibrating, let me just get this… trick”, “yes I’m there just now, I’m speaking to Bob (is it?), Yeah Bob.. u hum, a ha, yeah… ok I’ll ask if Bob has got a card… u hum, a ha, yeah… well they are nice pieces at quite reasonable prices, u hum, a ha, yeah OK, we’ll both come back tomorrow to look.” I thank Bob for his card and swiftly get the hell out of there! There is another vital 45 minutes I’ll never see again.

It is now 5pm and not only are the shop all closed… furniture mission failed! At this point I am an hour late for this barn dance. “Sat-Nav, take me there!” I drive/cruise there, cursing Google and its shopping knowledge sympathizing with Dave Gorman and the journey that Google sent him on.

It would seem that I may have got the wrong and of the stick with this barn dance gig. It wasn’t a barn-dance. Dan, referred to it as a hoe-down. Hoe-down, barn dance, line dance, same thing right? Wrong! I arrive at a field (that I later find out to be Dan’s garden). There is a fire pit with a roaring fire going and trestle tables up with gas BBQ stoves going full pelt.

Although Dan wasn’t there and I knew, er, nobody at all, I thought I would wonder up to the nearest person and introduce myself. All I knew was that there was a tall man called Stu (Dan’s Dad) who would be getting dressed up the occasion. I turn around to see a 6’6” man dressed as Fred Flintstone. Honestly you couldn’t make this stuff up. “Hi Ben, Dan told me all about you. I’m Stu, this is my Wife Lisa, let me introduce you to the rest of the guys”. Lisa then said “We all dress up when we do these things. You can join in if you want to, we have some dressing u gear in the garage… You know Elvis, right?” I was so tempted to say “yeah they help Santa”, but thought better of it… “Who hasn’t heard of Elvis” I say, sounding like his biggest fan. I am them presented with an Elvis costume with a leather waistcoat, fingerless gloves, Elvis glasses with sideburns attached and a black leather hat. I put this outfit on and happened to catch myself in the mirror. Give me a handle bar moustache and I would have looked more like one of the village people. The cap and glasses stayed in the garage!



I left the garage and walked over to the tables in the middle of the field/garden. There were different shapes of wicker baskets with chips (or crisps as we know them), bubbling pots of chili. Apple Cider (non-alcoholic) with cinnamon and piles of sugar in it. Hot chocolate, marsh mellows and pumpkin lights surrounding the entire thing. At this point my tongue was hanging out of my mouth and I was starving. I did, for the record, wait until food was offered before diving in.

I finally got to meet some of the community of Carmel without the religious pretext. This was great! Community and helping each other out is really important to me. I met with Bob and Marge (who was originally from Liverpool with the best accent I have ever heard. Mid-west with a Scouse twang. I could listen to her all night). Then I recognized Auntie Leslie who donated the bunk beds, as well as here husband Gene. As the day turned into night I found myself trampling a line in the grass directly between the food table and fire pit. More and more people started gathering around the fire as time went on.

As we spoke two cars rolled into the long driveway, and Dan appeared out of the back with his bike. He had been cycling all weekend and has just finished a 100 mile bike ride over the weekend. It was quite a big deal here with around 5000 cyclists. He looked knackered, but he did come out and join in the festivities, once here had freshened up and recovered a bit.

I got talking to a guy called Billy (I’d say around 28 years old) who was both interesting and entertaining. He managed to rip an apple in half, wow! Then he showed me how to do it… and then I did. Not too shabby really for a weed like me! (Granted it was on the 5th attempt but don’t steal my thunder ok!) We stood by the food as it got darker, (the sky, not the food you understand).

As we spoke I could hear a twang of guitar strings being tuned in the background. People gathered around the campfire and started singing songs. None of which I knew at this stage. “Cum bi are my lord, cum bi are” a-oh, this feels a little awkward. I gently move away from the inner circle of the fire, humming “someone is getting their coat, my lord, cum bi are” and move towards the food table with the idea of helping to clear up a bit. It turns out, that Billy has a similar outlook to me with the whole religious thing.



My religious beliefs: the quick a simple version. I don’t think you can say categorically there isn’t a god, because nobody knows everything about the universe. That said, I can’t see how anyone can say there definitely is. I am firmly on the fence with this one. I simply don’t know, but I am alright with not knowing. I do believe in community, respect, love and helping each other out. That’s it… oh and chocolate!

These are very nice, generous people who would (and have) gone out of their way to help someone and the last thing I wanted to do was offend anybody by not clapping along and singing by the fire. At eight o’clock it was getting cold and the festivities and fire were starting to die down. People were starting to say goodbye and leave. I thanked them for inviting me and hoped to see them again soon.

I had to get petrol for the car before I took it back in the morning so I went to the nearest “gas” station to fill up. Ok, the tank is nearly empty and it needs to be half full when I return the car in the morning. We have/had a Vauxhall Corsa at home and a full tank costs about £45 to fill up. £1.09 per liter when we left, here it is $2.27 per gallon which, let me see, about, er carry the 1, equates to, chu chu chu…pfft F*#%ed if I know! I’ll just stick $20 in and see how far I get. Ding ding ding. I this one is broke! It stops a $13. I turn the key to make the dashboard light up and quickly see I have filled it up to the top. This car has a bigger fuel capacity than the little Corsa and I have filled it up for $13! No wonder they leave the engines running.

Back to work tomorrow.

Just Cruising

Well today I finally got a car rental! I went there with a copy of the International Driving Permit (IDP) in hand ready for presentation. The guy behind the desk took details of my credit card and the next thing you know, boom, I have hired car. The really annoying thing is that he didn’t ask to see the IDP. “Here I have my IDP to accompany my driver’s license, like it said on your website” I say. “No its OK I believe you” comes the reply. “No, No… Look, this is my IDP… That’s me in the picture… Look! It's me, this is mine… please as least, look at it!” said as a nervous twitch starts to appear on my face knowing the effort that has gone into getting the bloody thing here. He glanced and said, “that’s all in order now sign here” in same breath.

So we go outside and look at this car. Now this is bottom of the range, the no thrills eco car, but I thought it was quite impressive. It had cruise control and everything! After inspecting the exterior and looking for any dents etc, he said “OK it all yours” and handed the keys over. Great let’s go! I open the door and in I jump… just to realize there was no steering wheel. Oh yeah, it’s on the other side. The guy is looking me thing “what is this dude doing?” I look up at him gently laughing to myself, open the glove box and say “ah ha! There are the radio instructions… Doesn’t everyone check for that before driving off?”Oh dear god, get me out of here. The funny thing is, I kept doing this throughout the day each time me (on my own) finding it really funny. If you are ever walking through a car park and there is a guy who sits down in the passenger’s seat, laughs, and then goes in the driver’s seat, they are probably not from that country.

With my driving directions written down on a scrawny bit of paper, I head north looking for this furniture rental place. I must have gone up and down this road four times looking for a street called Huntingdon Road. The road turned out to have eight lines of traffic, which put me off as I was looking for a little street. I only actually found it thanks to my iPod touch and jumping on somebody’s wi-fi network, which was a massive fluke. When I found this place I managed to find a radio shack (like Maplins) and bought a sat-nav. This turned out to be a god send!

I am still getting my head around some of the traffic signals. I thought it would be the same as the UK right? Red=Stop, Amber=get ready and green = go, right? WRONG!

• Green means go if it is clear
• Red means go if you are turning right
• Amber means get ready to stop (so I have read) but here it seems to mean “put your foot down”
• Flashing amber means “caution”(so I have read) but here it means “meh”
• Flashing red means the lights are not working, so you give way to the left (so I have read) but here it means “free for all” and erm “go”

So to recap, the lights mean go.

I found another half decent Supermarket called “Kroger” which is like Tesco. They had a "foods of the world" Isle, so I got my HP sauce! :0) I thought about getting Ribena, but it cost $8.96! (P*$# off!).

I had some other jobs to yesterday too. I filled in the IRS form, and after all that it wasn’t as bad as I thought. The link they send me to was this massive document was relevant, but not exactly the information I needed. I Googled it and found the instructions I actually needed. After reading these instructions, it turns out the questions I didn’t have the answers to, I needed to just leave blank. Well that I can do. I am really good at not filling forms in.

I also had to go to the post office. I have been to Post Offices in different part of the UK and in Europe, but the Post office here are quite different. Quite a bit of it is automated, like most banks these days, but you stand in line waiting to be seen and they come to you. They ask what you want to do and then they pull you of line and help you get the info you need or show you how to use the machine. It’s great… especially when you consider what happened last time I got pulled out of line.

If you are wondering about the barn dance, it has been postponed until tonight.

Time fly’s… then it just stops.

It’s been another busy day today. It has flown quite quickly past until I got a letter in the mail box when I got back from work. Nope, it wasn’t the International Driving Permit I have been waiting for, but two separate letters from my new bank. One says, they need a copy of the social security card, and the other says that the IRS demands I complete a form and mail it back to them or else they are “required to continue backup withholding on your account”. Now, I don’t know what the F@#k that means but it sound pretty serious. That coupled with the statement on the bottom if the form that says “Under penalties of perjury, I declare the above to be correct”, is more than a little bit frightening. There was a link to a manual to aid filling in the form. Seventy-two pages of three column fine print I have had to read and even now I don’t know what I am supposed to put. There is a help number that I am going to try and ring tomorrow morning.

I have a busy day tomorrow:

• Ring Chase banking
• Ring Dan’s Parents about the barn dance
• Skype first thing in the morning to catch-up , Pick up the parcel that has been waiting for me for the last few days
• Talk to the rental lady about the plug sock that is still broken
• Hire a car – Oh yes, that’s right. Hire a car! – I have booked it, I just hope they accept the scan of my International Driving Permit Work out how to drive in the US
• Go to the furniture rental places and see what deals I can get on renting a couch
• Do some food shopping
• See if I can see someone at AT&T, Verizon, bright house or sprint who can sort our phone and internet connection etc out.
• 4pm Barn dance baby!

How cool is the phone system.

It’s been very busy day at work today. I always think it is a nice problem to have as I really hate being bored. I found time at lunch time to get a bit of fresh air and explore Indianapolis a little more. There really are some hidden treasures there. Did you know they have canals in the center of Indy? They do look quite beautiful with rowboats going up & down and joggers running on the paths around. The trick is not to look too hard. I noticed that in order to make the water reflect the lovely sky blue color, they dye the water. Like I say at first glance it is lovely, but at second glance you think “toilet duck”.

Another phenomenon that I am still getting used to is the steam coming out from the man-hole covers. I know I have seen it in movies before, but it takes some getting used to. I can’t help but think of “stars in their eyes” every time I am walking over one. “Tonight Matthew, I am going to be...” Run over! “Hey I’m walking here!”

When I got back I got my first phone message. The phone system saves it is a MP3 file and emails to you as an email attachment. In the subject it says the phone number and shows the phone directory listing for that number. How cool is that! I am so impresses I have downloaded it to my iPod and I go jogging with it on now. I was friendly Lisa from Chase Bank saying: “How’s everything working out with the new bank account and to activate your card withdraw money from any ATM (cash point)”. Alright luv, I’ll use it when I want to spend some money thank you. – but I just said “Yeah, ok, have a great day”

FFA Ants nest

Yesterday, on the way back to the parking lot (that’s car park to you and I) there were barriers all around the side of the streets and flags hanging around saying we welcome the FFA. I had absolutely no idea what the FFA was or why the barriers were up. Today I found out what it was all about. Thousands, literally thousands of school kids descended on Colts stadium that is right next door to the office. They all had the same sweater (that’s a fleece cardigan) with their names and the state they were representing. FFA stands for the Future Farmers of America. The only reason why I mention it is that as I write this I am hungry. I am hungry, because every McDonalds, Subway, Burger king, sandwich shop or restaurant was packed. There were lines outside of every door way. To cut a long story short my Tic-Tac lunch was lovely.


I got a scan of my international driving permit today, and Sarah has sent the original one recorded delivery to our apartment. I really need to rent a car this weekend to get furniture and set up the utilities for when Sarah and the kids come next week. 8 days, 4hours and 23 minutes, but who is counting right? The important thing is that we have beds to sleep on and a table to eat dinner on. We already have a TV, kindly donated by ExPats David and Sian. We still don’t have a phone, internet or cable in the apartment. It is a tricky thing really. I am out the door at 7:45 and back at 19:00, so when I get back I’m not in a position to actually organize anything. We will have to do rock, paper, scissors to take it in turns to sit on the fishing chair, currently the chair of choice in the front room. When I say chair of choice I mean that’s the only thing to sit on.
Dan is going on a cycling trip this Saturday and Sunday, so I won’t be catching up with him this weekend. His parents however, are going to a line dance. He asked if I was doing anything this weekend and knowing I didn’t have a bike, wanted to know if I wanted to go line dancing. I have never been line dancing before but I swore to myself I would emerge myself in the culture and say “yes” to new things. I have not met his parents before, I don’t know where the venue is and I have no idea how to line dance. I really have thrown myself in the deep end here haven’t I?

Three years ago I suffered with quite bad anxiety. I remember not being able to sit through a film at the cinema unless I was on the end of the row so I could make a quick exit. I was a very weird thing that even now I can’t explain what caused it. I wouldn’t wish on anybody. The cure for me (that even now I can’t understand) was having kids. I don’t know if it was because I was more focused on them, or what. Either way, I don’t get it so much now. When my darling son was first born, I remember the mid-wife say to me “have you got a baby grow?” A baby-grow? What’s a baby-grow? My god, how am I going to be a good father if on day one I don’t know what a baby-grow is! With a look of confusion spread across my face she pointed at a sleep suit and said “There it is. Can you pass it to me please”? “Sure, no problem” I said. I think it was at that moment I worked out that no matter how big the challenge is and how confused and worried you are about it, there will be someone (even if you don’t know them) to point you in the right direction… The fact that she was making up words for a sleep suit didn’t help…


ANYWAY


Line dancing, Me, Saturday… lets go ahead and do it! Heal, Toe, Heal, Toe.

I just don’t know how to tell you this.

Well my international drivers permit has arrived… yay! In the UK… Boo… I’m sure Sarah can post it and get it here before the weekend and then I can hire a car and go for a spin, or at least cross the road! Sarah hopefully will be able to scan it before she sends it to me, I just prey this will be good enough for the car rental place.

Also today I have ordered mattresses for the kids bunk bed, I pick them up on Monday. Just a couch, drawers and bookcase type thing to go.

I have been here exactly 2 weeks and today I heard myself say something I thought I would never say. You have to understand that in order to be understood here you need to say things in a certain way. It is an elevator, not a lift… it is a trunk, not a boot. I swore to myself I wouldn’t fall into using American terms, but it is all happening in my subconscious. I noticed that I said “Peanut Budder” for peanut butter, when we all know it is pronounced “pe-n-b-er”. This is not the weirdest one. I actually said “aluminum” (a-loom-in-um), oh dear god what is happening to me.

That said I have also found myself saying things I wouldn’t usually say in the UK. “He’s fair shifting it, look at him go!” Again, this got some funny looks. I think they are humoring me so far, and it seems I am getting away with quite a bit. We were talking about a scruffy diagram I had drawn and I said “It looks like I have scribbled it in the back of a pack of fags”. Yeah, let’s just say something was lost in translation. Some of the things I say seem to be the talk of the office. The term “bits and pieces” has some them in hysterics, and even now I’m not 100% why.

If somebody asks what they sound like to me and I can do an American accent I usually say, “shewer, naat a prablem”.

There is one thing I have given up on though. I have been writing this with a US spell check, so please excuse the z in organize and the luck of a u in favorite. British blog, American computer, I have learnt to live with it! I do miss the GBP pound sign though. This reminds me… if you are ever asked to hit the pound key on an American phone they mean the # (hash key). This is Shift + 3 on a US qwerty keyboard, where the GBP pound sign should be.

I was getting wound up about this and then I thought “forget, abaad et”

The difference they don’t tell you about in the books.

Today I have had what I would call an average work day. I’m working on a project that isn’t released yet and unfortunately I can’t talk about. What I can talk about however is the differences between American and British culture that to book don’t tell you about. I know I am fresh off the boat and in a few months time I am sure that it will be the norm and not even register.

Toilets – let’s start from the bottom up (don’t read this bit if you are close to eating).

A toilet isn’t called a toilet here, it is called a bathroom. You may find that ridiculous as there isn’t a bath in them, but I worked out you can call it the men’s room and it is perfectly acceptable. I use this as I can’t bring myself to ask where the bathroom is in a pub.

Sit Carefully - I said sit:
The actual toilet bowls are a bit of a shock too. They are almost full of water. So what? In the UK you tend to get a bit of water at the bottom and there is anywhere between 6 inches and a 1ft before the water starts. Many a time have we all sat there, dropping the twins off at the pool, with a proud bomb dropping “Plip Plop Plumpch”, often with the dam busters theme running through your head. Oh and don’t forget the occasional splash back. Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I am talking about. The American toilet is quite a different experience. There is literally inches between you and the water. It’s more like the launching of a ship to sea on its maiden voyage. (I have been taking champagne bottles to break when I go now). That really is not the worst of it. Due the bowl being so full before you flush (if you dare to look) there is an armada of ships (that was ships) floating in VERY close to where you a sitting (yes, that was sitting). My advice it to drop em, plop me and get the hell out of there… oh and wipe.

Cubicles – a peeping toms paradise:
Ever needed to go, and faced with a row of closed doors? Now sure if there is anyone in there? Generally you tend to look for a shadow under the door or a pair of shoes. Again, it’s slightly different here. The doors generally start about 18 inches from the floor. This is just below the knees. Do you think that would make you feel a little exposed? No? Try this. In the UK the doors are generally overlapped, thus hiding the gap. Not here, between the edge of the door and the door frame there is a good half an inch gap. The real question has to be “is there any point in having the door?” The answer is…. Yes (well, that is what the officer told me).

TV’s in toilets – I may never leave here: In the centre of Indianapolis there is a restaurant called Scotty’s. It’s a very nice sport bar that does really good food. There are booths along the sides of the walls that have small LCD TV’s that show the sports games. There are also big HD TV’s mounted, above the bar, on the ceiling and above the doors. In fact there are all over the place. In the toilet there are TV’s at face height above the urinals showing adverts for promotions and the football games that are on. If you are there to watch the game, there is literally no escaping it. I tried to change the channel in the toilet than the thought of who was the last person to try to do this and what were they likely to be doing? Hmm, now wash your hands!

Why walk when you can drive?

I had my rant about paths to nowhere yesterday, but who needs them where you have a car to get you there. Last Saturday I was in the club house (taking advantage of the free wi-fi) and a couple came in to talk about renting an apartment here. Brandy, (a really nice lady who helped organize us get set up here) said, “you wanna go and see it”, “sure” the couple said. Now, I live in the far corner of the community (or complex as you and I would call it) and it takes me 6 minutes and 23 seconds to walk there. Yes, I timed it, because I am sad and I live here alone at the moment. ANYWAY! As I sat in the club house they literally got in their cars, started their engines and drove out of the car park around the corner to the other car park in front of the apartment. This is unbelievable. It was like and episode of Bread when “our Billy” parks the other side of the road outside his mams house when he has fallen out with his wife.

In the part of the world where we are living just now you quite often see empty cars with the engine running. It can get very cold here and it is nice to have a nice warm car right? I’ll come on to the environment in a sec, but these people are very trusting, which is very refreshing to see. On my epic journey across the 60 lanes of traffic the other night I did see a car sat there idling away. It was cold, I was tired, a good mile away from the apartment and I would be lying if it didn’t cross my mind to take it for a spin. I didn’t, for the record.

The People – “you have a great day”

A vast majority of people here really do have time for you and really want to help you if they can. I’m not saying everyone is like that, and I’m sure in some densely populated they would rather step on your face than to look at you, but here that is not the case. I have already talked about how good the people of Carmel have been helping me out where they can, but let me tell you about some of the things that struck me as odd, but here is an everyday occurrence.

Sir – “How are you today sir?” “eh? Who me? Fine! What do you want from me?” I’m ashamed to say is my initial reaction when I first came across this. It is quite the norm to be called Sir by young kids, OAPs and even you peers. “It’s my round, what do you want” “Budweiser please Sir”… it just seems weird!

Young youth – So I am walking down the Monon trail and I see a group of 8 teenage boys on bikes and skate boards. In the UK we would call these “Goths”. There was 1 of me, 8 of them, getting closer and closer, looking at me that teenage look of “I hate everything”. They are moving fast and think I may have jump to one side to let them by. Ten feet to go and the slow right down and say: “Good afternoon sir, how are you today?” “I’m good, how are you” says I. “I’m good too, thank you for asking… have a great day” and off they trundle down the trail. What was that all about? Shouldn’t I have a slit throat by now?

Go ahead, buddy, it’s awesome – Now this is a strange one that I have noticed. People here use the term “go ahead” a lot. “Why don’t you go ahead with that, while I go ahead with this… sorry where you about to say something?.. go ahead”. This is quite infectious as I have found myself going ahead and say it out of context. (you see what I did there). They don’t have mates here they have buddies. I am introduced quite often as Dan’s co-worker. I’m trying not to read too much into that but one day I might get promoted :0). The other word you hear a lot is “Awesome”. “There is a new cool thing you have to have it is awesome” compared with “this thing is broken… awesome”. Did you spot the difference? No? Awesome!

I am brilliant at cooking! – I can pierce the film in 2 seconds flat!

I will be the first to admit that I am struggling with food here a little bit. I’m determined not to fall in the fast food trap. To prevent this I have my trusty Jamie Oliver cookbook “Ministry of Food”, thanks to my darling wife sending it over to me. The only thing about this is that it refers to ingredients that, quite frankly, don’t exist here. Crème fresh is a thing I use quite a bit in cooking. If it is low fat, you can make some amazing things, both sweet and savory that are good for you. Can I find it here? Can I Bo***cks! So far I have tried a version of soured cream…no, a cream cheese spread thing… No, fat free thick yoghurt…ew no and a cream cheese fruit dip… NO! YUK!

My food just doesn’t taste the same here. I did after looking at 4 different stores found some Pataks curry paste. Back in the UK you have madras, korma, tikka and so on… Here you get “Hot” or “Medium”. It seems it spice first, flavor second.

You really have to look hard for fresh ingredients, but when you find them it is incredible. The fruit here is really shiny. I don’t know if there is a guy with a duster going around making the apples gleam or what. In the UK they seem to be sticky and need a damn good washing to get that layer of grease of them before eating.

The Environment – why sort and separate when we have a massive bin?

Now this has to be my least favourite thing about being here. Proactive attitude towards the environment is just non-existent for the masses. Dan told me that his parents recycle. They actually have to pay someone to pick up recyclable materials from their house. If you want to be environmentally friendly you have to pay. I just can’t get my head around why this is. Blossom recycled and she was about in the early 90’s. This, “throw it in the dumpster” attitude along with the idling cars and the “lets drive to that side of the car park” really hits home why the USA has reputation for being one of the worst polluters in the world. I know that some feel that recycling your household waste is a little bit like going to a landfill site with a dustpan and brush, but I personally believe if everyone was responsible for what they consume the planet would be in a lot better shape. I am not a hippy or anything.

Peace out!

Paths to nowhere

So I have had a little look online to see how much mattresses cost. $250 EACH! WHAT THE F&*@! This was a bit of a shock, that can’t be right. Using my little iPod Touch I found out there was about 6 stores within walking distance that sell mattresses. I also found route a little out the way to get to them without crossing the bazillion lines of traffic that I have now become accustom to. I do mean walking literally a mile out of my way but hey, I have time to kill! After doing a little bit of research, it turns out that the ones I was looking at online were more top of the range with delivery on top. Phew! (This interweb thing will never take off you know.) I haven’t had the rest of the moving fund come through yet so I can’t really buy anything just now, I need to get a bed for me and Sarah, a couch and a car yet, not to mention telephone/internet.

Worrying about money I decided I would go for another walk to get some basic groceries. I got a few picture frames and picture hooks too! I have been to Wal-Mart and as, ahem, lovely Wal-Mart is, it struggles when it come to, well, ingredients. “Fresh is our middle name” but when I say middle name it was the middle name of a twice remove ancestor. After walking and hour, looking at the lovely sunset, I finally got to Meijer (pronounced may-er). I like this place. 5 isles of fruit and veg, the smell of cinnamon when you walk in, counters all around showing fresh fish and real live lobster fighting it out in a massive tank. Although I don’t think you pick your own! Erbs, or how we say it Herbs. Real growing herbs, none of you packaged rubbish.

I have bought a herb plant now and will look after and take care of his every need. I call him Basil, as he has a little name badge. Help me.

One thing I am finding a little annoying are the paths to nowhere. I’m sure if I was driving everywhere it wouldn’t even register. Some places have paths and some don’t... fine! But when you are walking down a path for …ooh say, 45 minutes, just to be faced with a great big nothing at the end of it is more than a little frustrating! Who builds a path that goes nowhere? So far, considering I have four non-working day so far, I have encountered six of these damn things. The latest one has a crossing, with a button and everything to cross the road to be hit by a sweet FA! I’m fine, it out of my system now.

A path the somewhere, right?

WRONG! The path litterally takes you to a tree. 45minutes it took me to get here!

Right, off to bed now. I work out that I must have walked about 11 miles today. My feet are killing me!

We now have a bunk bed

I love Saturday mornings. It seems to be a good time to get online and speak to family and friends at home. On one hand it cheers me up, but on the other I do miss everyone so much. I feel like am man with an addition. My name is Ben German and it has been 12 days since my last hug. :0(

After a whopping 4 hours in the club house taking advantage of the free broadband, I made tracks back to the apartment where I was meeting Dan again. He had arranged to go around to Auntie Leslie’s house to put up these bits of furniture. When we went over there it was like I was given the impression that I was doing her a favour taking the furniture away. There was a bunk bed that was ideal for the kids when they come here. I really can’t emphasis enough how good these people have been to me. Dan, giving me lifts to and from work, Auntie Leslie and Gene giving me furniture for the house, David & Sian giving me some bits for the house and showing me where everything is and what the crack is from a Brits point of view. Thank you all so much, from the bottom of my heart.

It was interesting getting the beds from one place to another in Dan’s car, as the doors don’t open when you have bungee cords (or boingy straps as I call them). In order to get in the car you we had to go through the windows. Dukes of Hazard style.

Two trips in the car, a few tweaks of an Allan key and Boom the kids have bunk beds. I just need to get 2 mattresses for them. I’ll go for a little scout around tomorrow to see what I can find.

Twit-a-woo

So at work Daniel, my co-worker, told me that he was meeting up with one of his buddies after work and asked me if I wanted to come. Sounds good to me (although I’m sure my tick of the clock and hum of the fridge in my empty apartment will mad that I’m not home at the usual time)! A block away there is a place called Jillian’s. This is a kind of warehouse building right in the centre of Indianapolis that has 3 floors of entertainment. A bar/restaurant on the ground floor, an arcade/amusements on the 1st floor and a pool hall on the top floor.

Quick fact: In America, they call the ground floor the first floor, the first floor the second floor and so on, until you get to the 12th floor. It then goes to the 14th floor as it is bad luck to have a 13th floor. If someone says I need to go 14 floors up, I swear I will kill myself… but not from jumping off the top of a building!

Anyway, we meet up with Dan’s buddy Rob (a very nice bloke) and played a few games of pool. It wasn’t pool how I knew it but rather a game with 3 players that have to pot the balls with numbers 1-6, 7-12 and 13-18. The pool tables are bigger than the pool tables in the UK, but smaller than say a billiard table. This, of course, was my excuse for playing so badly. (Or maybe that’s what I am telling you to hustle you later).

After taking a little wonder Indianapolis at night, we came to the conclusion that we needed to eat. In the centre of Indy, there are no shortages of places to eat. I mean it’s no Hemsby but it still pretty well stocked! I said, in jest, let go to Hooters (not knowing there was one just around the block). Now, I always thought Hooters was a kind of bar where the waitresses wore low cut tops, had big boobs and has very short shorts. I WAS WRONG! It’s a restaurant not a bar! Me’h. Not only is it a restaurant but I was kind of shocked to find out that it was a family restaurant, and very tacky family restaurant at that.


The waitress came to our table and went round one by one taking their orders. I was last to order. As the details of the order came from my mouth I soon realized she wasn’t writing anything down. “What is with you r voice?” she says. “er, that the way I talk. I just moved here, I’m straight off the boat” “you’re kidding me, talk normally” “Look, here is my passport. That’s me (with hair), that’s me on my work visa (without hair, looking like a convict), I’m British” says I. She then continues to take my order but even after seeing my passport I get the feeling she really believe me. Good job she wasn’t an immigration officer on the way in.

Above: Dan, Sheri & Rob

The thing about Hooters is the views are great, but I thought the food was crap. I had hot dog and I am not kidding when I say that after every bite I could see the fat running out of it. There was a paper napkin on the table that started off catching the drips of fat that then got relegated to me dabbing the end of the hot dog on it to soak up some of the fat. Ew!

All the places we had been so far were quite dead in terms of the atmosphere. We found a bar (that you had to pay $5 to get in) that had live music and entertainment. It was loud in there but really good. There were 2 pianos playing where they were getting people in the audience up on stage to join in, beers that were on draft. You can buy pitchers rather than just bottles. This was my kind of place.

Dan and Rob had plans to meet up with some friend in Broadripple. I promised myself I would repeat the events of last Friday in Broadripple and took it easy. We went to bars that were very close the ones I went to the week before but not exactly the same ones. As we met some of their other friends we spotted two girls (23ish) dancing on a raised platform. This was just the beginning of the entertainment (but not put on by the owners of the bar). An older gent (say 55yrs) got up the platform and started dancing with them. Kind of dirty dancing, in a “just thrown up in my mouth a little bit” type of way. I very quickly realized the general crowd were laughing in their sleeves as it also dawned on me that I was probably one of the oldest there. (Note to self, DON’T DANCE). Although Dan was including me in the conversation, I kind of felt I was the old guy cramping their style a little. This might have been all in my head, but I was probably the next youngest after the guy on stage.

As we moved to the next place further down the strip, I felt a little more of a loose end. There it was, the dance floor. “come on Ben, we are gonna have a little dance, you coming” says Dan. “Naa I’ll sit this one out, you go for it though” says I. I thought if I got up there, no matter how loud the music is I will still be hearing ‘Granddad we love you’ in my head. The truth of the matter is I like having a little dance, just not in that kind of environment. Weddings are a great excuse to dance and make a fool of yourself, especially if you have little kids who are happy just to stand on your feet while you rock them.

After a little while we called it a night. On the way back Dan mentioned getting some furniture in the morning from Auntie Leslie and (I guess Uncle) Gene, who go to Dan’s church.

I was back in bed at 2am. Shocking!

Whhaaaaaaaaaa, All I want to do is drive!

So today I was gonna finally get my International Driving Permit (IDP), or so I thought. An IDP is a document that accompanies your driving license in order to drive on a foreign driving license. I knew this quite some time ago. I mean months before I came out here, the one thing that I didn’t realized that it is issued in the country that you are coming from not going to.

The gravity of the situation came to ahead today when I went to the Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV). It is only about 15 minutes walk from the office so it wasn’t a big deal. Another government agency, another ticketing system and yet another waiting room! “Hi! I am a British citizen and I want to drive bit I need and IDP please” says I. “mm hum, got to desk number 3 hun. Keisha will be able to help you out”.. ok “Hi! I am a British citizen and I want to drive bit I need and IDP please” says I again. “ we don’t issue these here sweetheart, you need to get that from you home country be before you come here. All we can do is issue you with a Indiana state license.” says Keisha “Great! what do you need from me?” It turns out that I need to do a written test (I can cram, no problem), and eye test (got new Porsche glasses, again no problem) and you need to do a driving exercise. They will not provide a vehicle. I need to make sure I have an insured car. But I can’t hire one without an IDP. Back to square one. So the real question is where do I get one when I am in Indiana? The Advice from the DVW is speck to the british embassy.

Let’s go to the British embassy, it is near… I looked it up on Google and it is 4 blocks from here. I my minds eye I had visions on union jack flapping in the wind, Bentleys outside with the engine running. “Hmm ambassador, you are really spoiling us”. This is not what I got.
Don’t get me wrong, this place was impressive with forty floors of brushed steel, glass and granite. I got into the lobby and spoke to the desk clerk. British embassy? “Say what? I think you have the wrong place sir. You need next door.” I go next door know that is defiantly the wrong place. Indiana chamber of commerce is written above the door, so back I go to the first building.

Pulling out the scrap of paper, with my Google result scribbled down. “I’m looking for this guy in the British Embassy, it even says the room number” says I. “Well that is on the top floor but I need to swipe my key card in the elevator to get you up there, as it is a private law firm. As the lift get higher I feel my ears pop. DING, and the doors open. Expecting to see Lex Luthor, I am actually will greeted but a tuft of hair behind a desk. “good morning to dewey, chetem and howe, please hold (ok that wasn’t the name of the company but was a law firm called something like that). As I got closer to the desk I soon realized this tuft of hair was a little old lady.



Hello, I am a UK citizen, I have been to the DMV and they have to come here as I need an IDP, but I can’t get one” as I handed over my scribble down Google result. “Let me make some calls” came the response. Another lady appeared and asked how can I help, (sigh)… me, move, no drive, IDP, DMV now here! Wait here and I get right back to you.

As I wait I get chatting to the little old lady. It turns out she is a Brit! An Essex girl! She had been living here for 30 years. She had twang in the accent that gave me a clue, but she did say “to-mate-o”, say it with “tom-art-toe” you can do it… she played along and made her smile break up a what must have been quite a boring day. I was a great view from her desk. You could see all around including my office window. I was looking down quite a way but it was a great view. As the professional I am I took some sneaky shot with my phone.

Just then the second lady appeared again. I have made some calls and the gentleman you want is out of the state at the moment. He is a repetitive for the British embassy but he does work for this firm. He has given me 2 numbers you may want to call. The embassy in Chicago or the consulate in Washington are you two options. Thanks very much. I grab the sheet of paper that she has written and head back in the lift for my ears to pop again.

Back at my desk I give the first number a ring. Two rings and “hello” comes the very northern voice. “er hello, have I rang the right number?”… “well it depends on how ya want to speak to luv”… “er the british consulate?”… “no luv, we’re Britons in distress” (well In am getting close to it now) I explain , move, uk, can’t drive, IDP, DMV,UK embassy, here, HELP! “ awe luv we just can’t help ya, you could try DVLA int Swansea, but that’s going back at bit now from when I moved 30 years ago int tit” ok thanks for nothing.

Square one and we are back for a visit!

A bit more research reveals that it is actually the RAC and the AA that issue these in the UK, to UK residents with a UK address that matches the UK address on the driving license. After a lot of farting around I found the form to apply for one and have sent this to Sarah. I pray to god that there are some passport photos of me back in the UK otherwise I am stuck without a car for 3 years! Tomorrow I will need to scan my passport and my driving license and email it to Sarah at work. The difficulty is that Sarah finishes (work for good) at 2pm (GMT) and the office I work in doesn’t open until 9 (WST). Five hours difference,1 moment in time.

I just hope I can scan these documents in before she leaves her job for good!

ooh steamy!

Not much to report today, except for the project that we are currently working on. I won’t tell you the details of it too much but I can tell you it is promoting a film that is quite like the polar express train film.

The methodology is a bit different here as I have said before. We talk about what we could do, Two different designers come up with two different concepts that are presented to the client. The feedback from this may come back with a little of one and a bit of another. This is then done in a revised concept. Ideally they would sign this off and then we would build it. In the case of yesterday, they went back one of the original concepts (mine!). Personally I liked the one that Jonathan did better than mine but the customer is always right.

One this is agreed several people work on different this. I cut up the file I was working on to get a list of “assets”. This would be like, pictures, logos etc. Eric would put together a base, which is like a “wireframe” (yes a wireframe before you say anything, digital paint employees) of how it all goes together. Jonathan would then assemble and animate the whole thing.
The train is at a platform and I animated the steam from the bottom. It turns out that this was in an older action script version and conflicted with the main movie, so I’m sure that is was a pain in the arse to do. I know that I have learnt my lesson and will make sure it is now done in the correct version.

Even in the USA Tuesdays suck

So today was a big day in terms of admin. I need to get a social security number. This number is the thing that flicks the first domino in order to actually do stuff. Once I get it I get, pay tax (ooh fun), the documentation together to buy/rent a car, get credit so when setting up utilities (such as phone and internet) they know who I am. First thing is first I need to go into the federal building for an interview. Now this interview is more like a trip to the post office rather than say a job interview. From my last trip in the rain to the federal building I knew for a fact that the building opens at 8am and the SS office opens at 9am.





8:30 I am there! Much like the airport I go through security… through the star in their eyes gate to be greeted with a wand that beeps around my crotch. It beeps every time I go through one of those things. Even now I’m not sure it is my belt that sets it off or my, ahem. “Can I wait outside the office?” “No sir, it opens at 9 sharp but you can use the cafeteria on the 4th floor for now” says the armed guard. Good enough for me. I went the café for, ooh 30 seconds, and went upstairs to wait in front of the doors. Im not being last for this! 8.50am A menacing man in a wooly hat walks slowly up to me and say “morning sir, it sure is a fine day aint it, yes sir a fine day”. I look around to make sure it is actually me he is talking to. I humor him (deep down knowing he may be on day release). 8:55am hall way is getting full now, as I am the first in an ever growing line of American stereotypes. The grunter has now joined me, making a noise I can only describe as “hocking” then a gulp swallowing noise (mmm nice). We have the “mom & pop” who drove 200 miles this morning to get her through all types of traffic, and the parking is awful don’t you know. (er yes I do know as I have heard you tell everyone in the line… individually… twice). I’m still first and watching the time tick away. “yes sir, sure is a nice day” says the wooly hat man again. 8.56… tick tick… 8.57... “grunt grunt” 8.58… “trayfic is owful” (come on come) 8.59… bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

What! The next thing I know a pear shaped security guard appears at a fire exit saying “You folks please go down these steps as we need to evacuate the building”. “OH COME ON! 1 MINUTE TO GO, I’M FIRST IN LINE, AND YOU ARE EVACUATING THE PLACE”. Granted this was my internal dialogue but I could see equal disappointment in everyone else’s face in the line. “Showe is a nice day foe en evecuashown” says the wooly hat man as hall stairs get busier and busier. We are then to wait across the street until the fire department get there. They never show. Standing in the cold opposite the building I go for a little wonder… basically to get away from grunter. 20 minutes later the security guard who had the wand from earlier starts waving us over. I’m first everyone… yeah right! Each man for himself!

I get to the front, this could be ok, I’m actually first back in the building… YYEEESSSS.. er no. “Do you have a federal pass sir” says wander guard (as I’m now calling him). Um no? “Are federal employee?” guess not. “then sir you need to wait over there in that line with all the civilians” er ok, mr security guard with a gun and a wand sir.

So I go to the back of the line and guess who is in from of me.. grunt! 30 minutes ago I was first in the line, now I’m just a civilian at the back of a long q. I finally get back to the corridor where I once was first, but now there are 30 people in front of me. :0( “Showe is a crayzee day today sir”. Look who’s just joined me.

Once I got in there it was a piece of cake. They now have my details and the card should be mailed to me in the next few days. I can even get my number tomorrow if I want to go back in. I don’t even have to wait as I can cut in line. Well who can resist that!

Needless to say I was a little late for work, but I let them know I may be a little late yesterday so I didn’t get in trouble or anything.

I have always wanted to do a website for a movie. I kind of always looked at movie websites as the kind of website you can really dive into and immerse yourself in the movie, rather than say and SEO website that shows NLP, life couching and empowering ones mindset to understand the importance of.. blahdy blah blah blah… zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Well now I am working on a website to promote a movie! Yay! It’s not out yet, it’s not a big movie and no it’s not porn. I can’t say much about it, but I am loving working on it!
After work, Daniel has given me a lift home again. What a star!

I am determine to make sure that I eat right while I am here and I have to tell you, it is quite easy to see how people fall into the fast food trap. It is cheaper to eat out than eat in. I’m looking at my cupboards and work out that I can make nice spaghetti with cheese sauce. I just need crème fresh or corn flour. Doing my daredevil antics I cross the 12 lanes of traffic to get to clay terrace shopping village. Now this isn’t as bad as you may think as this road is pretty empty at night. I walk and walk until it see it like a beam of golden light. I heard angels singing in the background, ahh ahh laa laa. The work Marsh glows and attracts me like a moth. Ok maybe I am over doing it a little bit but I had been walking for ages. All that stands between me and the store is, a car park, a fence, a little swamp, 7 lanes of traffic, a central reservation, another 7 lanes and a TGI Friday. Not to worry, I see a bridge! Phew. I make my way to the bridge and I see a foot path (wow). I keep on walking thinking “this path goes on for ages” well not quite. The problem is that is wasn’t perspective I was seeing but rather the path was getting thinner and thinner. I soon realized that path has how turned to a sandy dirt and is gently pushing me into a busy road of oncoming traffic. Sod this! I’m going back. I look down to see my footprints and it was like I was looking at the moon landing footprints. Literally no one has stood in this spot for years.

Here we are again. Gladiators ready! 3, 2, 1, RUN! Car park, fence, little swamp, 7 lanes of traffic, central reservation, another 7 lanes and SAFE! Ah. I really need a car. I got the bits I needed from the shop and needless to say I think I earned my dinner!

Don’t you just love Facebook.

After an interesting meeting about a website soon to be launched (and by the way I am really excited about it as it is something I have wanted to design for since… I can’t remember when) I have been assigned... to work on social networking, specifically Twitter, Facebook and Linked-In. My first job its look to create a page that can promote the company. It needs to give an idea of the kind of environment it is and the philosophy of the company. Pretty cool eh! I have spent approximately 4 hours of paid work looking at Facebook. I image that in most jobs if you were caught this long on Facebook in work time you would be fired. The only concern I have is that it can be a bit of a double edged sword. I mean, if I have been spending all my work day looking at it, the last thing I may want to do is go home and not use it in my own time. This is the real reason I didn’t become a gynecologist. I’m sure it will be fine.

I could do with some help really. If anyone out there knows how to create a fan page that looks like this http://www.facebook.com/redbull?v=app_123793864961 please let me know. So far I have been only able to do the basics things you can do as standard. Please let me know what you find out.Tomorrow I go to get my social security card at the federal building… ooh fun!

Help I'm drowning in paperwork

Today I spent most of the morning filling in forms. Rent, banking, insurance, social security. You name it I have a form for it.

After doing that I thought I would pop in to the gym. Yes baby the gym. Check these guns out. Granted I only went to take advantage of the free wifi, but hey it is included in the rent! I then lost complete track of time. The next thing I knew is that I had been there for 2 hours.
Expat David (Sian’s husband) can around with son Oliver with some furniture they had in storage and a tv. This is great, now I have entertainment. After dropping the stuff off at the apartment we took a leisurely drive to their place. Now this was a very nice house... A very big nice house. I couldn’t help think of the fresh prince of Bel-Air when I walked through the door. After a little it was time to shop…till I drop.

Sian, Megan (Sian’s daughter) and I went shopping. It was good to see the kind of things you can get for the price you are willing to pay. We started off by going to a charity shop, but this is not a charity shop as how we know it. No. this is the size of Toys R Us. It was massive there was one or two things I got there, like fruit bowls and a few Halloween things for the kids when they get here. We then went to Target (or tar-chet, said with a French accent) this is like John Lewis… but big. This was followed by wal-mart (like a massive ASDA), then finally onto Marshalls (a bit like Sainsbury’s).

After spending approx $250 on all the little things we all have but never think about until we realize they are not there I was treated to dinner at Red Robin (Similar kind of place to Pizza hut…. but with burgers). Thank you Sian & David for all your help and hospitality. You have made the transition much easier than it otherwise could have been. We had a good chat about the differences between America and the UK. I really find it fascinating.

I know you probably see things on TV about shootings and violence etc. To be honest, before I got here I was mentally preparing for that and am very surprised how different it is. People are very trusting here and it quite common to leave you door unlocked. I used to think how weird and kind of fake the whole "how are you today?" thing was, but I have to say they are serious… and I defiantly prefer it to the "alright" you tend to get in the UK.

Argh my head hurts.

This morning I woke up with a bad head, but luckily go to sleep in. Result! I had a great night last night, even though I was ill the back the taxi. Today I have had a good day as I got to speak to my darling wife and kids via Skype. Wait here is more, my mum and dad also got the Skype account I set up working too… with webcam. I’m VERY impressed. Even me old mate bob got online line and spoke via MSN messenger. I recon we will be able to put a man on the moon next!

I went for a little wonder around today to have a look at Carmel (on foot). Now this place is beautiful. We are living just near the art district, where there is something always going on. As got into the town center there was a jazz band playing, artist painting, little stalls selling hand crafted jewelry. I even found Carmel elementary school where Zack and Katie may be going when they get here. It was about 20 minutes walk (at my pace),so they might be taking the school bus, or getting bikes.

The reason I was out was to look for a potato peeler, butter and red chili peppers. As lovely as Carmel center is, I couldn’t find a grocery store in walking distance. I went on the Monon trail which is a footpath, rollerblade and bike track that goes all the way in to Indianapolis (30 miles eventually). I walked about 6 miles and realized I still hadn’t found a store. I went back and went to other way and found "clays shopping district". This is a bit like riverside in Northampton but selling more expensive stuff. Now where do I find a potato peeler? Yankee candle store, no, star bucks, nope, pier 49, meh, whole foods, a-ha! Now this place in like Waitrose, but EVERYTHING is organic…. and expensive. The good thing about this is they sell to you by letting you try a sample first. There were tester cups next to everything, juice, cheeses, olives, dried fruits. After the first 3 isles I was full! I suppose I’d better buy something to show willing. Potato peeler, butter and red chili peppers…$12.. bloody con :0).

I worked out that I had come around in one massive circle and maybe I could get over this hill to cross the road to my apartment… 12 LANES later I managed to cross. I felt like Moses.
I treated myself to a dairy queen mix and match deal (meant for kids in think) where you can pick and choose from this menu and the more you get the cheaper it is. I had a chicken wrap and an ice cream sundae. Their kid’s portions are about the same as our large portions, so that did me fine.

Right I’m gonna blow up my new air bed now (a lovely gift from my darling wife).

Long day, rough night

So I woke up this morning to a clean house. Yes I did the washing up. No I know that isn’t a big deal, but when you realize I forgot to buy a washing up brush and washing up liquid. Do’h! I was also was up dressed and ready to be picked up by Daniel. It is dark and pissing it down.

Today was really looking to get stuck into work, but in reality I am doing more learning of the systems and methodology of the company. It is quite a different way of working. Back in the UK, it is you want it, we can build it… to get us started, what kind of things do you like the look of? This works well and it is what I am used to. Here the approach is very proactive. Here is a bunch of stuff we have thought of that you could do, this is how much it will cost, when do you want us to start? At the moment it is looking at current stuff and then coming up with suggestions to improve it. I just hope I can keep coming up with good ideas.

This afternoon has been mainly doing paperwork. Sorting out life insurance and a social security number (SSN). Now the social security number is a real pain the in the arse. Ages ago I read somewhere I didn’t need one. Today I spoke to Bobbie who does the accounts (really nice lady) who says I do need one… an "Unrestricted" one. I have looked at the SS website and it says I don’t need one and they can’t issue me one… I know I’ll ring them… estimated wait time 15minutes… you call is important to us… please hold.. we are sorry you are still waiting… please… hold is my voice getting annoying?... please hold would you like me to sing you a song? … daisy daisy… please hold… Oh bollocks to this.. its only 3 block up the road. So I ran up there and got through security and they said "we closed 5 minutes ago, try after the bank holiday on Tuesday". So I got back to the office and waited on hold again… daisy daisy… please hold… eventually I got through to a guy that said go to the website and fill in this form… so I do need on then.

My mobile rings (that I haven’t heard ring for a week) and it is a local number. Odd! It is Dave, an expat who’s wife has been speaking to Sarah on facebook. A few of us are going out for a drink… wanna come? "yeah".

At this point I am packing up ready to leave and Daniel says I have been speaking to some of the guys at my church and they said if you want to borrow some furniture, you can! Excellent I am now not eating off my lap. The guys here have been really good to me.

As soon as the furniture got dropped of by Dan, Dave and Sian turned up.. (no time to eat). We went out and picked up nick another expat. They live in fishers. It must have been a 50minute round trip. We went to Broadripple, which is a bit like the Wellingborough road. We had a drink or 10. Needless to say I got a bit tipsy. The next time I see that cap driver I will apologise. I got back 2am and just collapsed on my air bed… bong bong! It was a good night out, and met some really nice people, who I will hopefully meet again soon.



The inside of the toilet in one of the pubs... (I think)

Ahh living the life of a bachelor!

Well I woke up this morning a bit later than I should and I very quickly realized I had left the place in a state from the night before. The thing is, when you buy stuff you have to put stuff away, which is really difficult when there is nowhere to put the stuff… Glad you understand what I am on about as I need someone to explain it to me!... To summerise the place is a mess.
So today, I have been in quite a few meeting to strategically plan what we can do for existing customers. This is good as it is proactive, but quite tricky as I don’t know the projects as well as other in the team. I’m a little bit afraid of saying "why don’t you try this or that" and they would be like, "yeah, it already does that". That might be just me though.

One thing that is VERY interesting is the encouragement I have had to use Facebook. Not for dosing you understand (and for the record I am writing this outside of office hours), but for networking, gathering leads and ultimately new business be in employees or customers. Very cool stuff! I am also getting to grips with "LinkedIn" so if I send a request you know it me doing work!

I’m off to target soon to see if I can buy an uplighter… mmmmmmmmm light for the apartment, what next!

My first day.

Just spoke to my darling wife, kids and mum. I'm not really with it yet as the jet lag has got me all over the place. I keep going in and out of consciousness and not sure if I am dreaming about something or making a list of something to do.

As I lay here it becomes very apparent that I need to get this place finished ASAP. 3 of the rooms don't have lights. What I mean by that us that is that the light switches turn or power sockets than in turn switch on up lighters...or not in my case. In this order in need: bank account, furniture, and car. Scrap that. Shower curtain, bank account, furniture, and car. Scrap that. Toilet roll, shower curtain, bank account, furniture, car.

Better get up, dressed and find a shop that sells milk, cereal (bowls and spoons)... Goanna try and put this on facebook too if I can find a wifi Zone.
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Well what a day! Daniel picked me up from my apartment this morning and gave me a ride into work. He has very kindly offered to do this tomorrow as well. When I got there I was faced with a new wide screen monitor, VARIO laptop (that is lightning speed) and a really cool keyboard & mouse. I have (with help) set it up so I now work dual screen… I know, a bit nerdy right, but hey I don’t care. I have spent the day getting set up and learning how all the systems work. We all had a strategic planning meeting this morning, followed by a meeting about the Website.
I have got an appointment to see the bank manager so I need to take all my documentation in tomorrow.

After work Daniel offered to take me to Wal-Mart to buy, well everything. This place is massive! It makes the ASDA in Milton Keynes look like a corner shop! It is quite scary how little fresh food there is in there. Very oddly I found myself looking for (what I would term) normal things in the foods of the world section. Not kidding when I say there was 3 fridges with cheese but normal concentrated drink that you dilute (like Robinsons) nowhere to be seen.

Now that I have this laptop I Can watch the DVDs I brought with me… although I did warn me that I only have 1 more opportunity to change the region before the laptop gets lock into it. :0/
It is still VERY quite here… I have started talking to a football called Wilson. (When I say football I do of course mean a soccer ball)

Right, time to unpack the food now!

I'm off

As I write this, am stirring in the loo at heatheow terminal4 dropping the twins off at the pool. Ok that was too much info but I figure I ive some time to kill before my flight. 　

So the adventure begins. Mum and dad have just dropped me off and they kept very well composed. I thought it ironic that the moment I leave it starts raining for he first time in weeks. Driest September ever in Northampton.　

Damian has given me his sim card and a few contact numbers, but has also said, do you your contract with you. Er no. I have visa in my passport so am hoping that will be ok.　

The real thing that is bothering me is that I can't top up my phone as virgin mobile is on he blink. Great! 　I'll keep you posted in that one.　
.. Time to wipe now, back in a bit.
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On the plane now with 2hours to Newark. I have just filled in the landing card an the customs declorarion. There are three things that I an a little unsure about.
　
Country of residence: I have put UK then in brackets Usa 3 years. Not sure if that is right but I'm sure they will tell me if there is a problem.　

The total value of all articles that will remain on the US: er 0? I'm sure as we will be renting everything there will be nothing to bring back. It is difficult to guess what crap we will equire over the next 3 years.　

In which country do you live?: right now I am literally in the middle. This morning I loved in the uk but this evening I will be setting up in carmel IN. So what so I put? I have left it blank. This is too hard. I know I'll just copy the answers of the guy next to me.　

Pedro from rio, that's me :0)

Back on a bit when I have landed.
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God I hate tuedays! So I get off the plane and wait in the line ready to have my passport inspected. I quickly realise that I am the only one with a white landng card rather than everyone else who has a green waiver form. No wait, there is someone. phew! ... And they have just been picked off by that officer. It will be ok,,,, oh shit here he comes. "Start in line 43 sir". Crap! That's where the other women went and she is in an interview room now.　

I open with "I have left this blank as I don't know what to put for where do you live... I have a visa you see" said quite smugly. (look at that baby!). "and where is your pertion document?" gulp. Say again dear? You must have it in order to enter the us.　

Well it's in the green folder on the bloody bookcase 6000 miles away! Shit! Luckily the guy said as it was my first entry to the us he would let me off. (I knew these dimples would cone in handy. ) I Can breath out now.　

Got to baggage reclaim, there's my bags. result! No waiting. ... There is the wheel from my bag. Shit! I am now waiting for my next flight and I haven't spoke to a strainger yet. I'm gonna give it a go. This is so unlike me but I have to get over it.

Ooh I can see the empire state building from here!
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Well that was fun. Small talk 101. Let's get chatting at the iPhone charger point. I would never do that, and you know what she spoke back and didn't say f**k off. I always plan it out different in my head. She gone for her flight now.
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Omg I am about to fly off on a smartie tube. It is tiny! 　There I a big lady adjasent to me and I am worried if she leans over the whole plane will tilt.

Well although it was a small plane and Zack has had bigger kites, that was pretty smooth. 　
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Right am in bed now. Rob had just picked me up from the airport and we have just eaten at moes Mexican place. That was both nice and filling but I am making a consious effort not to finish what is in from if me. Becoming overweight and falling into bad eating routines is in the forefront of my mind.　

He has dropped ne off at the new appartment and it in not quite how I remember it. I am underwelmed but also very glad that it is a short lease. It reminds me a kit of westleigh close were we used to live. Upstairs I can gear someones every footstep and the sound of the fridge humming.　

As rob left, he said he kind of felt like her was leaving his son at student halls for the first time. I said "thanks pop & send my love to mom". He smiled so I'm hoping he has got my sense of humour.　

Now the not fun bit. I have packed my things away and have inflated my air bed. It feels quite "cell like" and lonlyness is starting to kick in. It must be 1am uk time, so I have set my alarm to ring home at 7am. I need to hear farmilar voices and now! 　　
　

Packing

Well today I gave spent most of the day sorting out. Be it tax, insurance or other protection policies. Very boring time consuming stuff. The worst of it is that I didn't get onto the packing unroll about 3 when the kids got back from school. I am really amazed at the way those vacuum pack bags work. I'd never have fitted it all in. I have paid an additional $95 dollars for this extra heavy case and according to the scales it is bang on target. I just hope I don't get to the check in and they turn me away or fine me more. Need to sleep now as I am up in 4 hours.

I have to say I'm not nervous or excited just really tired. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep on the plane. I think deep down is that if I keep myself busy loneliness won't be as powerful as I think is may become in those quiet moments.

Last night with the lads

As I write this I think it is fair this say I s m s little bit pissed. U know I had a proper send off last weekend, but now bob is back from his holiday this is the first and last chance to say good bye. Thanks for the southern comfort Andy but really right now it is not doing me any favours.

I said to myself that every time u say good bye to any one I would end it with a hug. It is fair to say that bob, Andy and Phil had a hug and a bit of a squeeze too. I'll miss then load but I have managed to keep myself together in this one. No blubbering like a little girl. For all that they say, (especially bob with is racism) I’ll miss loads. The room is spinning but I an gonna try and get to sleep. Good night!

The End

Today has been a bit if a strange day really. I left digital paint, handed in my keys and said farewell to all that work there. On one hand I think to myself this is the place I have worked in to put a roof over my yeas and food on the table. On the other, helped build this company in into the profitable company it us with a staff of 10. If I think back to what it was like when I first started many things have changed. It all started off with Andrew in an office no bigger than 10x10 ft. I think it is fair to say you get to know someone quite well in such a tight environment.

Andrew has been a good boss, and I am lucky enough to class him as one of my friends, even though I have left the company he started and we built up.

Do today I spent teaching others how find what I do. I think it is a bit if an eye opener for both them and me. A lot if the time I just crack on with stuff because I can see the goal and just build toward it. When it broken down to each individual element it all equates to a lot.

As I deauthorused my iTunes and backed up my personal email and pictures, memories of good times past came flooding back. I wrote an email saying thanks for the memories, and I have to say I was filling up as I typed. I made sure I gave everyone a hug individually as they left at the end of the day. The truth is I am a hugger, but it is not always easy to go in for the hug. Once you have formally shook hands it is a bit difficult to break rank. Deep down I am hoping that the Americans will think "hey he is from Europe. Which I think is in England somewhere, and that's what they do"

I may have to play that one by ear, but I sure will miss hugs, especially as I will be out there alone for at least a month. Airbed here we come!

There is something in the air. Everywhere I look something dramatically I changing. Aline the account manager from sage pay is leaving her job, creative beast have moved out from our floor, mca upstairs has moved out, Dan has left digital paint, Phil is now living in a caravan with his girlfriend, bobs dad has moved on. I have always said that beginnings are scary/exciting, middles are fun and endings are sad. Right now I am sad, but early next I will be scared and excited.

Tomorrow I need to sort out banking and the insurance.