A different day but the same principle: make the most of the weekend, where shall we go?
We decide to go to another museum, as the children’s museum last week was such a success. We decided to go to the Indiana State Museum. It was interesting and had quite a few exhibits, but after the amount of interaction the kids had at the one last week, they found this one a little less interesting. Because of this, we kind of jetted through quite a few of the exhibits.
After our visit I decided to give the kids a tour of the city center (where daddy works). The Colts were playing away today so all the sport bars we full and the streets were empty. Throw in a few tufts of grass and a hand full of zombies, and you would have the film “I am Legend”… with me being the buff Will Smith character… Ahem…
I thought I would treat my family to a Jimmy Johns. Now, Jimmy Johns is kind of like Subway, but fast. On weekday lunchtimes, I find it is best to know what you want long before you walk through the door, otherwise you will get sucked in, and spat out.
“Ok, I would like a #4 TURKEY TOM...NoTomatoWithPickleExtraCheeseExtra… (breathe) …AvocadoSpreadNoHotPeppers... Potato Chips and a Giant oatmeal raisin cookie … GO! GO! GO!” At this point you swipe your card and try to keep up with you sandwich quickly being created as it is handed from one person to the other, each adding and ingredient or performing a function. By the time you get to the end your sandwich is wrapped labeled and ready for consumption. I think I had a stitch buy the time I got to the end of the line. I kind of felt I should stand at the end of the production line and chew as fast as they prepared it. All this on freshly baked bread, created in the back there. With food prepared this fast, it kind of makes up wonder if that white dusty stuff is flour they are sprinkling on the bread!
After eating a sandwich there I promised to take the kids to the ice cream place just of monument circle. This is a great place where they charge by the cup not the scoop. At the cinema back at the UK they would put the tiniest bit in the and say…”what three flavors, that will be extra. Here they push it right down to the bottom of the cup until it will take no more… No limits on the different type you can have either!
While my family is tucking into their ice cream I get the urge to use the men’s room. I ask the lady who served us where it is and she says its down stairs, let me get you the key. She then hands me of a tiny key, attached to a big rubber chicken/cockerel. (I swear I am not making this up) “You need to go out into the lobby that backs on to this building and take the fright elevator down to the basement. Keep going straight, then take a left through the third door then a right once you are down there.” She says.
Off I go, through the ice cream parlor in front of all these customer eating ice cream taking my big rubber cockerel for a walk. I walk through these posh looking doors and walk down the marble floored lobby to the elevators. Very posh! I then see the one I have to get on…not so posh. I opened up the dors from the bottom and top like a giant mouth that you step through. I hit the basement button and slowly descend in this rickety rackety old thing. The doors open and they are two leather clad bearded biker men standing right in front of me. “You got the key to the restroom?” the first one says. “er yeah” I say holding out the rubber cockerel. “OK, we’ll follow you”, I then start walking through this labyrinth of tunnels looking for the toilet. Was it left then right? Third door?.. ahh I can’t remember! This place looks like that scene from Matrix reloaded… Doors everywhere!
“It’s around here somewhere… heh” I say feeling quite awkward. “Nope that’s a dead end… it must be this way” as I do a U-turn and walk past them again. They don’t say a word, but just follow me with the sound of rubbing leather and clumping boots. “Oh here it its” thank god.. a room with a lock. I open the door and it has a stall and a urinal in quite close quarters. They walked in after me not knowing how big the toilet is, so there was no kind of “I’ll wait outside” kind of talk. One guy goes in the stall and the other guy is right behind me as I balance the rubber cockerel on the urinal…god this is awkward. I keep a super close eye on the reflection of the pipes by the urinal making sure nothing was happing behind my back. God knows what I would have done… beaten him to death with a rubber cockerel I guess.
I pretend to finish… let’s face it, stage fright was bound to happen. I flush the toilet, grab the cock… let me rephrase that, I flush the toilet, pick up the rubber cockerel and go to wash my hands. Due to the way the lock on the main door was, I had the kind of hold the door so it didn’t lock them in.
I had an out-of-body experience. I saw myself in the situation I was in a different country, far from home, in an underground venue, holding a rubber cock, waiting for two bikers, knowing that the next words I was about to say where to be along the lines of “let’s find the exit”.
Luckily we found the freight elevator quite quickly and got back to the ice cream shop where Sarah and the kids were sitting enjoying their ice cream.
If I am there again and need to use the bathroom I will just hold it in!
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