Children’s museum

For the last week I have been building up the idea of a special treat at the weekend. The kids didn’t know what it was exactly, but they did know it would be really cool. The Indianapolis Children’s Museum is 4 floors of really cool exhibits. In the basement they had a dinosaur exhibit that had loads of interactive activities that really got the kid’s imagination running wild. They loved it! Up on the other levels they had everything from the history of the US railroad to space-quest where everything was themed around starwars chonewars.



Towards the top of the museum, there was an area for younger kids that Katie was initially interested in. They had a soft toy play area and a little quiet room for reading. I’m not sure what it was but Zack wanted to go in there and do some reading. As a proud parent I want to encourage this as much as possible. I soon realized that the room we were in was aimed at very young kids and new parents. As I sat down and chilled out for a second, Zack decide to find a book to read. Of the hundreds of books that were on the book shelf, Zack found the one book about pregnancy and the changing body. He sat there flicking through the book until I said to him “Is there just writing in the book? What are you looking at?” He quickly showed me the pages he was bookmarking with his fingers. ‘”Look Daddy… Boobs”- as he handed me the book… That’s my boy. Moments after this, a lady came into inform me that the room was about to be used for story time. I wish you could see the filthy look she gave me when she saw that I had my finger in the page of the naked pregnant lady. Thanks Zack

Now why didn’t I think of this earlier

Today was the first time we had the chance to go full on shopping where we could go out as a family and load the car up with groceries and bit and bobs that we need to make our house a home. It is quite different when you have a car to transport the stuff, not that I am complaining. I did after all enjoy my little walks.

Remember I had all that trouble with getting those seats to stay in the back on my “new” car? I have a cunning plan for furniture for our house!




Pretty cool eh?


I also have a new head shaver, Phew! My hair was starting to look a little crazy. I’m sure if I frowned I would look like a klingon.

Who’s there?

It three in the morning and its pitch black. I hear a noise and my eyes flick open as wide as they will go. Lying perfectly still I can hear the hum of the fridge, the tick of the clock and the gentle snooze of my wife and kids. But what is that other noise? I hear footsteps go moving from one end of the apartment gradually getting neared and nearer. “My family, how can I protect them, I need a baseball bat or something. I know they are trying to be quiet, but I can still hear them. The sound is getting closer. They are above me! OH MY GOD!… whow, whow, whow, Hang on , wait, calm down. Of course there are footsteps trying not to make a noise above you. There is an apartment above you dimlow! You don’t just have attic space above you anymore”. Yep, you guessed it, I woke up first thing this morning and completely forgot where I was. Needless to say once you give yourself a scare like that is it not always easy to get back off to sleep. I really need to sleep as it is a big day for the little man today. That’s what we call my son, for the record. Yep it is Zack’s first Day at school and he is going on the bus on his own.

We all got up early and made sure we had everything ready to go. Book bag, lunch, pencils case, books… oh yeah, and the boy too! We all went off to the end of the road (about 10 minutes walk) to where the bus is due to pick up Zack. We were a little concerned at first at the lack of other kids about but we soon relaxed after seeing the bus appear at the entrance to our community. Here it come slowing down… to speed up… right past the stop, over the ramp and right down the road. Bugger! We missed it. Luckily for us it turns out that it does a kind of loop to pick the kids up and then comes back and picks us up. There he goes my little boy into the big wide scary world all on his own. It’s alright, I’m OK!



On with the day and I am ready to drive my car to work for the first time! With all my insurance sorted out, I head off to sit in my new car. I am actually pleasantly surprised. I know this sounds really bad, and I will probably get a lot of stick for this, but this is the first time I have seen the car in the daylight. Shocking, I know, but it looks really quite nice. Leather seats, very spacious, not too shabby! I don’t quite know what we going to do with the extra 2 seats in the back, but I seems that kids like the idea of having options open to them when sitting in the back of the car. It can have all the leather seats and cruise control it likes, but it won’t detract from the blacked out windows and sliding doors. I am slightly ashamed to admit this but when I pulled up at the gas station to fill up, I did actually walk between the two front seats and open up the sliding doors at the side to jump out. Literally “jump” out singing the A-Team theme song quite loud. DUN-DA-DA, DUN, DUN , DAAAAAAA. It turns out that you can take people quite by surprise while they are refueling when you do that. Nobody said anything, even though I had my “quit yo jibba jabba, FOOL!” line already to go.

At this particular petrol station they had televisions built into the pumps so you can be entertained while filling up (although I was getting more looks than the TV’s). If I had the car before I ordered the cable in our house I would have simply driven out the gas station and watched Telly there! They even have popcorn at the kiosk.

I am still car pooling with Dan so we are taking it in turns to drive. I was quite impressed that I managed to find his house kind of without a GPS/SatNav? I started with it on but the voice of the woman really starts to grate after a while, especially if she has it in her mind to go a specific way. She obviously doesn’t know about the road works, but will she listen! Will she bol**cks.

I quite enjoy the commute to work, but you really have to keep your eye on the lanes. It is quite common for the right lane to come to an end, or the left lane to suddenly turn left. If you get in the wrong lane you have to your quick thinking, years of driving experience and the knowledge that you car is probably the least valuable thing on the road (which includes road kill) to tactically suggest other divers let you in. It seems that in Carmel drivers tend to be nice and gracious, but in Indianapolis city center it is survival of the fittest.

I don’t have any new dents on the car, but the engine warning light has come on again. Its only bad if it flashes right?



This is on the side of the building, just up from where we park. Not sure if it is true or not but it made me laugh!



The view from our office when I leave at night

ah Mellow Man!

I think there must be something in the air today. It has been a lovely warm day where I have worn nothing but and jumper. (Let me rephrase that, I didn’t wear a coat I wore a jumper). Although most of leafs are now on the ground the sun is really beaming. Time for a lovely stroll.

Knowing that we needed to get some bits and pieces for Zack’s first full day, we ventured out to the wide work of “Target”. I think I have mentioned target before but for those who missed it, “Target” is a bit like John Lewis. Seems it was a nice day for a walk we all set of to go the most direct route to the shop. Comfortable in the knowledge that I can cross these 10 lanes of traffic in relative safety, we were all set off to cross the road… without incident I am happy to say. We walked through clay terrace, which is full of the high end stores I have talked about before. Must walk quickly!

When we arrived at the store the kids were just about exhausted. Two trolleys, two kids, two seats… sorted, right? Nope. The shopping trolleys are slightly different here. Other them being plastic, the trolleys have two levels to them. They have a kind of shelf, ideal for carrying heavy items such as big bottles water, flat pack furniture or, as it turns out, a small child. “Look I’m superman flying through the air” says my darling son. “Yep, but I am pretty sure that superman got higher the 4 inches you are flying just now”. We eventually got all the stuff we needed/would be prepared to carry home and got ready to go. “Is the man and woman coming to pick us up again?” says Katie. “No, that was a very happy occurrence that happened one time. We need to walk home” I say, knowing I have just pulled the pin out of a whine grenade. “BUT I’M TIRED AND I CAN’T WALK ANYMORE” she screams at the top of her voice. “well we are all tired, we have all walked a long way and I’m sure that that if we just keep a positive attitude and think about something else we will be there in no time” I say. Although she is only four, she sure knows how to give a look of “ I’m four, I’m not dumb… I don’t buy that crap for a second”.

Needless to say it was a longer journey back to the apartment. We stopped every little while for a break if we saw a bench or wall or even ground it would seem. All was going well until it came to the killer road again. I turns out (in Zack’s eyes) the central reservation is also a good place to sit down when you are tired. Needless to say that he has learned that isn’t the case.

Once we got back to the apartment Katie wondered off to her bedroom. She sometimes has problems articulating in words what she means, but when she appeared back in the living room wearing her pajamas, she communicated quite well the fact that she wasn’t going out again today.

I think it is fair to say I am the kind of person who always seems to be doing. I get really get restless if I don’t get out and about in the day, especially when the weather is so nice. I knew we needed some more groceries, so armed with a sturdy bag I went on my jolly way to Marsh. Marsh is a grocery store that I would equate to Waitrose. Earlier in the week Dan had told me that he had seen an advert for, whit for it, crème fresh! Wow! This stuff is like gold dust. The store that sold it was very close to marsh. From my little adventure to find the nearest playground yesterday I worked out that I could take a fairly direct and safe route to the store. The authorities here have been working on an extension to the Monon trail. This is a foot path that goes through the woods and is ideal for cycling and walking etc. This worked quite well. It was safe and much quicker too!



I got to the store that sold the crème fresh ($4.99 for a small pot.. Rip off), then went on to Marsh. I got some of the basics including yoghurt (for Zack’s packed lunch) eggs etc, orange juice and milk (each in a gallon container). Fully laden with all this stuff I worked out I could do a more direct route. There is even a path! Result!.. Yet again I was tricked. Damn you! You and your paths to nowhere!



As I walked I thought “Stick with the plan Ben it has to be quicker… It’s not that bad it’s all downhill… downhill quite fast… God this is steep, ok I ‘m running now and we have stopped… what’s that squelching? … ew great, that my trainers wrecked, my foot has gone right in the mud. Back we go, maybe I go under the bridge under the paved bit… nope that’s not paved they are rocks. Come on Ben just balance… An gallon container in each hand you will be ok… Ok this is starting to feel like a quarry now as the rocks are moving. You are nearly clear... safe! :0) oh, another big hill :0( I just need to get to the other side of that fence… ok wall.. need to get the other side of that wall… it’s not too high… 1,2,3 jump….it not to high that side anyway! And the eggs are still not cracked.”



I eventually got back on the trail and limped home, with a squelch on every alternate foot. I must have looked a right state compared to these fresh faced cyclist who decided to stay on the track. “Come on children, ignore the strange man.” – I think I heard one lady say… (cow!)

Needless to say when I got back home I had to freshen up and get changed. Soon after that I got a call from Dave “I’m out side, you ready?”

I quickly get my stuff together and go on my way to pick up the car. Off we went back to Tim’s garage/man cave. He got all the paperwork ready for me to sign. “Basically there is a whole load of fine print that is there, but who reads that right? Just sign this bit here and Initial there and he keys are yours” says Tim. “Can I read it first?” I say, “If you want to” says Tim.

Basically it says that I was buying it as seen and there is no warranty on it. With this in mind I asked if I could check the seats that didn’t lock down that he said were fixed. “It sounds to me like you don’t trust me” he said with a deadpan menacing face…. A long 5 seconds pass as all I could here was the tick of the clock and the sound of crickets chirping… “arrr I’m just kidding you, knock yourself out. I’m not really like that” he said with a big grin on his face. God that was awkward (and he knew it). I go out to see the seats and take the car’s VIN details etc for the paper work. Yep, the car seats are stick right in there, and if I pull this cord will come out, and if I put it back they will lock back in place…. they will lock back in place….damn it lock back in place you b**tard thing! Oh crap! I’ve broke it. (Glad I didn’t sign anything).

“Er, Tim? About these seats?” It turns out they only lock when folded down… I thought I had good and proper broken them. It was a good job he showed me how to do it as I would have spent ages trying to get them in there. Happy with the inspection of the car, I went in the office, signed the ownership papers and gave the man his cheque.

We shook hands and I agreed to follow Dave back to my apartment. In the car I get… wuw, wuw, wuw.. ticky, ticky, ticky, “oh you are kidding me”… wuw, wuw, wuw.. ticky, ticky, ticky, nothing. It has a flat battery “GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK!” It turns out that I had flatted the battery when leaving the doors open for a good hour while messing around with the seats.

He gave us a boost and I was on my way. He said that it was a brand new battery and if I get any problems with it, he will swap it out for me.

I got home and I was knackered!

Can it really be a month already?

I haven’t logged quite as many things that last few days as usual. I’d love to say it is because I have been rushed off my feet and have been just too busy. The truth is I have been working and the day to day stuff computer programming stuff may not be interesting reading. One thing I will say however is that working with some of the bigger clients is quite different to what I am used to. This week we commenced work on and website for a soft drinks company. I don’t believe I can say their name yet but I can it I say it’s not Lucozade and it does not have crocodile in the brand name (I think that is cryptic enough). Technically, don’t believe I was down to be on the team to actually work on this project. I accidentally walked into the meeting room and before I knew it we were talking about a new website. Opps! That’s one way of getting in on the action. They were doing a conference call with one of those big advertising agencies. It kind of reminded me of the film “what women want”.

We are on line at home now! Yay! After the rip off that was AT&T, Comcast has come along and got out cable up and running. The only slight issue that is not wi-fi ready. It is more a case of having a forty-five minute walk to get some more equipment and then spending half a day arsing around with it to get it to work. Ooh fun.

This morning, knowing that I was going to speak to Mum and Dad, I decide to run to the shops… literally! We were out of cereal and I though it a good opportunity to get a bit of intensive excursive. Since I have been here I have learnt to play the system a bit. I know that if I wait until the cars are at the top of the bridge, I can cross the first six lanes of traffic without having to run. Then it is just a case of walking the median (central reservation) until the light on the other side change. “Safely” across the road I start my jogging routine. My plan was to return the old TV areal I had and swap it for a wi-fi box. I managed to get to Wal-Mart and go straight to the customer service desk. I learnt today that you can just about take anything back to Wal-Mart without a receipt if you are polite and show of a nice shiny accent.

I say “Hi, I’d like to return this please, but I don’t have receipt”

“Say whaaaat! sey thay-at ag-ayn” –came the shocked response

“You see, I got it but then we got cable and it turns out we don’t need it” I say thinking I have just upset her

“Yaw wayt hyre sweedie…. RONDA! JA!... com ere!... Now, sey thay-at ag-ayn” she says again.

“So yeah, I got this and I don’t need it anymore” I say with an ever growing audience.

“oh my gowd, I jas lowve yaw ayc-ceyent. Say some-em eylse. I cawld lysen to hym awl day”

This went on for about five minutes, but it seemed longer. I won’t lie and tell you it didn’t feel good these people hang on my every word, even though I was talking a load of old boll**ks!

“he say-ed yoghurt, say some-em eylse diff-ryent” she says.

“I’m just saying it how it is spelt.. yog-hurt not yoe-gert… I mean you don’t say I have got my trainers on and I’m about to joe-ging do you?”

“yayer, wha do we sey they-at”

She was obviously distracted and she gave me a full refund without the need a receipt. Result! I got my bits and pieces and headed back home… 20 minutes no problem.

I was due to look at the car this afternoon but I didn’t hear anything. I rang Dave and he said “did you not get my text message?” He sent me one saying that he couldn’t get hold of Tim the car dealer so we will go around tonight. It seems that my mobile phone just can’t get text messages from other US phones, (except Sarah’s new mobile phone). Quite a few of them don’t have a + key on them which means they can’t dial internationally … to my phone… next to them. I will be getting a new one soon but I need to work out if I can use a US SIM card in the phone. The way that phone contract work here a quite different to the way they work in the UK. It is really simple in the UK when it comes to pay-as-you-go phones. You get a 10 quid voucher and top up. You get charged for the calls and text you make. The more you use it the more it is. Here in the US the pay-as-you go seems to be quite different. If you don’t use your phone, you don’t pay. If you want to sent a text message or make a 5 second call is costs you $3. Rip off right! The catch is, that you can send as many texts or spend ages talking on your phone, but it still is contained within that $3 per day. That doesn’t include 3G internet time either. I think is it a very subtle way of making you either spent more or talk more.

I have done the washing today and I have now lost the first sock in the USA. How does this happen! We had an even number when we got here… bloody thing!

Knowing that we had a free afternoon, I wanted to go out and find the nearest park. As I have said before, everything is spread out here. The nearest park is a good thirty minutes away. To get to it we had to walk through a fairly private estate. It wasn’t what I would call a gated community exactly but rather the kind of area where people would look at you to say “this is my patch… what are you doing”. I found a very easy way to throw off these looks. Basically, all you need is a blonde smiley four year old on your shoulders. It seems to work every time! (Although I think I need to get the light weight version as my back is killing me know). We would walk down this very beautiful path and there would be a man looking out of his conservatory giving you daggers. “right, I’m waving at him” I thought. The thing is when someone waves at you it soon defuses any threat. So he gave me a kind of reluctant semi raised hand back. “Right Katie, let’s go for it… wave at the man”. My darling daughter really went for it waving like crazy at the man who was like a long lost friend. The man had nowhere to go from here, and started waving back in an equally ridiculous way… That did make me laugh and I think secretly it made that guys day!



As we ventured further around the estate, you could really smell the money. We counted at least 6 houses that had a three door garage that had a car in each, plus one on the driveway. As first it seemed quite quiet, to the point of giving the feeling of an abandoned town. Everything new, massive, luxurious but ultimately empty. As we went further down the twisty road we heard kids playing/working. This is the season to be raking leafs alright. I am not kidding when I say that the whole community was getting involved. Ride-on lawn mowers whirring up and down while leaf blowers were being used to create piles of leafs ready to be compacted into bags by the kids. It seemed to be a full on event, and I felt a little left out. I miss my leaf blower. You could shoot a dog turd miles with that bad boy! We wondered up and down this street, people were happy to talk to us and give us directions to the nearest park. It was really nice getting some fresh air and kicking the leaves and wonder through the woods on the way home. On the way back Katie said to me “I am really glad you made me come out in the end daddy, I really enjoyed it”. Coming from a tried four year old girl who, trust me, knows how to whine when she is tired, really meant a lot to me.

Dave came around at seven and said that he still hasn’t been able to get in touch with Tim the car dealer, so we would go around tomorrow after the Colts game… Come on you Colts! The Kia will have to wait until tomorrow, which rather scuppers my plans with doing stuff on the weekend. I’m not quite sure how this will work, as I have heard that you can’t buy a car on a Sunday in Indiana.

credit where credit is due

Robbing B**tards! Right, got that off my chest.

So we have decided to go with the AT&T plan, with all the “free” equipment and “free installation” etc. I rang the guy and said, “Although I have only been here for 4 weeks, we want to go with your plan”. “Certainly Mr German, let me just get you set up here… can I take you address.. blah, blah, blah and your social security number (SSN)”. Sure why not, I now after all have a nice shiny new card (OK it is a crap looking bit of paper, but go with me on this). “OK, I will just run this through and thank you for choosing AT&T”. Excellent! I thought, we will soon be in the land of the living again!

Ten minutes later I get a call back.

“I’m really sorry to tell you that you have no US credit history with your social security” says AT&T man.

“Of course I haven’t, like I said I have only been here 4 weeks and only had a SSN for 1 of those” I say.

“This isn’t a show stopper as we can still go ahead with the install. We just need to take a non-refundable deposit of $450 to cover the cost of the equipment to get you started”

“$450! – Bloody hell! When the I get the deposit back then, or does that come out of my monthly billing?”

“No sir, it is a one off non-refundable deposit”

“How is it a deposit if I don’t get it back… that’s not a deposit that’s me just giving you cash! So do I get to keep the equipment?”

“No sir that is the property of AT&T and will need to be returned if and when you cancel the contract.”

It turns out the only way to avoid this is if it was taken out in someone else’s name and the bill comes to me. For the record I was very polite and thanked him for his time. I the back of my mind I thought rearrange these words to make a sentence relevant to this situation “your up stick your cable ar$e contract”

Breathe!

So... I get in touch with the next best cable company (Comcast) and tell them not to bother doing a credit check as it will comeback with low score or no score. He said in the worst case scenario it would be $150 upfront. I give my details and wait for confirmation. He rang back saying we are all good to go! No upfront fee… nothing. What a lovely chap!

While I am on a roll I decide to give Dave the car guy a ring and say I would take the Kia. When I rang him it was bit of a bad line. “I what to do a deal on the Kia, but you need to ring Tim and let me what the Krack is… huh?.. The Kia deal? Whats the krack?” I then lost the line. I suddenly became aware that lots of mere cat-like heads where popping over the cubicles in the office. “What?” Dan was laughing at me saying that he and I’m sure the others thought I wanted to deal crack cocaine to a girl called kia. Oh great! Yet another British saying that had landed in me in the crap! Don’t worry once I explained what it meant they all found very funny. I’m just dreading the next time I speak to Dave the car guy… unless, of course, he brings his bitches with him :0)

It’s good to talk (So I have heard)

After a walk-a-thon on Sunday to the shopping the nearest shop, my shoulders are still a little tender. It turns out I can carry a whole shopping trolley worth of groceries without needing a car… granted the loaf of bread now looks like a pitter bread, but hey, you can still eat it!

So today is the day I went to sort out setting up communications in the apartment. We need phone, ADSL and a sky+ equivalent & now! I can’t stand much more of the commercials on the TV. Luckily I work just across the road from a big shopping center (mall) in the middle in Indianapolis. There are quite a few different shops there but the one I am interested in is AT&T. This is like the equivalent to Virgin Media, but loads of people have it. They talked me through load of plans you can sign up to. This is a little confusing because the call the mobile phone service “Wireless” and what we know as wireless “WiFi”. There is one deal that sounds good that gives me $300 cash back. The monthly bills are a little more money than the next cable company but it seems like a good deal. I’ll run it past my darling wife and see if she agrees if it is the best bet.

After lunch I wanted to take a photo of the exterior of the office that I work in, for an update to the company website. Surly the best bet is to take it from the building across the street. Maybe a slightly brave move? I walked to the lobby and there is nobody on the security desk. May be I should just wander up to the top floor as see how far I got? Ah, busted! A lady wearing a security uniform had just seen me. I thought I’d better fess up. “No.. Sir… we-he..can’t… l-et… vis-i-tors… ju-st… wa-lk.. in.. a-and ta-ke ph-o-t-o graphs” she said. I don’t know why she was speaking to me like this, but it was hypnotic and quite annoying at the same time! She went on to say that she could call for the building manager who may be able to help. As we waited we had a very in-depth conversation about my accent.

“You know, I recognize you kind of speak different to a lot of the folks around here” she says

“yes I’m from England… straight off the boat!” says I

“well you know, I really do like accents… I like French, Asian, African and I like the Spanish the Jamaican and the Australian” she explains putting the emphasis on every single syllable.

“really!” I say desperately trying to sound interested

“ you know here in the USA, there are quite a few different accents as you travel around. There is the New York accent, the southern accent, the Boston accent….” Oh god, stop this woman talking “Now, the Texas accent is especially interesting because…” you can get the electric chair there… I’d rather have that than listen anymore of you “… and of course we all know about Kentucky accent…” ok, your lips are moving and you are fading out now. You sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher.

DING! – The elevator doors open and there is standing the building manager. I could tell this from the jungle of keys from his belt, and we all know this is the international signal of “I am important… I am after all the master of keys. I have the authority to open any door I like and even use the photocopier if I want”… now that’s power! Regardless of all the jingling I gave the man a big hug just to get me away from the most annoying woman in the world. In fairness she wasn’t that bad. I am just bitter that she caught me. The building manager was good enough to let me on top of the roof and take some photos of the offices. They came out quite well, especially considering that the lens had my darling daughters fingerprint on it (I later found out).



At lunchtime I got a call from the car guy “Dave” to see if I was interested in looking at any other cars. “yeah, OK” I say, desperate not to be without a car for much longer. “I’ll pick you up at 7:30”… result! Now, it takes me about an hour to get home and I have arranged with Dan (my co-worker) to see if we can swing past Marsh grocery store to pick up the bit I couldn’t carry yesterday. We decide to divide and conquer. Dan takes half the shopping list and I take the other. OK, so by my reckoning we can cover the store in 7 minutes per person to get back in time to get picked up by Dave. Ready… steady… GO! This plan was going well, until I realized that Dan had the half of the list that said “Chips” and “Crisps”. Now Crisps here are called Chips and Chips are called “oven steak French fries”. He did well and understood what I was banging on about. I, on the other hand, was struggling with my side of the list. There was whole section just about flour. Whole meal, organic, white, plain, Self-raising, bread, you name it they had it. I am sure this is not an American thing but rather a Ben thing. I just don’t know what does what. I did however find one that was “All Purpose Flour”. This stuff is great! All purpose does what it says in the tin, as it were… I have started using it a talcum powder. We got back to the check out and Dan saved me yet again when I realized that I had left my wallet in his car. Yet again he has bailed me out of a potentially embarrassing situation. Before you say anything, I paid him back straight away! It wasn’t a ploy just to get him to pay!

We made it back to the apartment with just enough time to kiss my darling wife and kids and eat a few slices of pizza.

BEEP BEEP! Dave was here and this time he was in a huge SUV. We drove for about 45 minutes in the pitch black talking about American Football (or football as they call it) to a used car lot in the middle of nowhere.

This place was quite impressive. It was a three story custom built house with a workshop at the bottom, a living area on the next floor and bedrooms at the top. It kind of reminded me of one of those log cabin/lodges you associate with skiing in the Alps. Tim, the car dealer invited me in. His office was not your everyday mechanics office, but rather a shrine to cars and all things manly. On the right was a pristine couch made from the back of a classic American car, with the rear lights that lit up. On the wall behind that was a hand painted picture of a group of classic cars huddled together. Now I’m no expert but I recognized a Hudson Hornet in there. That’s Doc from the Pixar film “Cars” if that helps. On the left were polished number plates and pictures of sporting legends, along with more framed pictures of retro cars. Right at the back of the office there was a polished petrol pump from the 1950’s lit by the glow of neon signs saying Bar and Beer. This wasn’t just an office, it was a man cave! The testosterone was so strong I found myself grunting and wanting to crush a beer can on my forehead. Apparently that doesn’t make for polite conversation in America… moving on. We sat down and had a chat about the kind of thing I was looking for. “Well my friend, you have one big problem when looking for a car in your price range” he said as he flicked the ash from his cigarette into an ashtray, formally a hub cap, on a table formally a fire hydrant. “People are buying the kind of car you want so they can swap it out on one of those cash for clunkers deals”. Basically this is like the salvage thing like they have in the UK where you can trade in your old car for a better newer one and get $4000 off the price of a new car. He seemed quite an honest guy… (first mistake right?) He basically went on the tell me that he has no interest in selling me a heap of old crap and that it isn’t in his interest to get an unhappy customer, especially as he lives right above his garage (man-cave). We went around the forecourt with him pointing out each car at a time. “That’s too much for you… that one is a heap of junk… that one plays up… that one is a heap of junk… that one is good, but I guess you are looking for something not made in the 1980’s… that one is a heap of junk… I don’t even know what is wrong with that one yet… which leave with these two”.

The first one is a Kia Mini-Van. Electric everything, cruise control, automatic, bit of rust at the back, leather seats that are heated. The second one was another Ford Taurus. This was like the one I drove on Saturday, but not a saloon (station-wagon). I quite liked the Kia. We drove back and talked numbers in his office.

Now this sounds like quite a straight forward conversation, right? The thing is, where there is a man cave, there is needs to be American football on the big screen TV in the background. We would talk and he would get distracted mid-sentence.

“the seats at the back do lock to the floor of the minivan and whoa they can’t have just been gained another 10yards on a ball like that” er, oh I see you changed the subject mid-sentence. “so yeah, the mileage is pretty good especially when you take into account that NO NO NO” what, what, what? Oh I have lost you again “so we could take you to an auction if you would like to bid on a car yourself, but the problem then is you get exactly what you pay for. You might get a real bargain or a real dud that could TAKE HIM OUT!” ok that time you made me crap my pants…

Regardless of the distraction he seemed a nice guy and I will let him know tomorrow what the deal is.

I got back at 10:45. Long day!